


Coffee Stained Confusion

by larislynn



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), Minor Character Death, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 30,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22565992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larislynn/pseuds/larislynn
Summary: Reader is your average stressed out college student. Bucky is on a mission to find a possible HYDRA assassin. Both their lives change when she runs into him on campus- literally. A mixup of notes happens and chaos ensues.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky wasn’t exactly thrilled with his new mission assignment. His life was about to be turned into some buddy cop movie with Sam Wilson. However, he didn’t have much room to argue about it since he was the newest to the team and still wasn’t completely in Stark’s good graces. Apparently this new mission would help him “strengthen ties” with others, but Bucky knew that was just an excuse to pair him with someone who couldn’t stand him. On the bright side he’d be able to get out of the tower for a while.

He didn’t hate the tower, not really. The others were nice enough to him. Natasha understood what it was like to be a weapon in someone else’s hands, and Bruce was sympathetic enough too, but he still didn’t have a real connection with anyone except Steve. He missed being out in the real world, and this mission would give him a much-needed breath of fresh air. Unfortunately, the cons outweighed the pros.

This wasn’t just some run-of-the-mill mission. Some recent murders looked a bit too much like HYDRA’s work for them to be overlooked, so they decided to send the one most familiar with the organization. Bucky knew he had to be the one to go, but it still brought too many old memories to the surface. Memories he wanted to so desperately forget. It certainly didn’t help that he was partnered with the most insufferable of all the other Avengers.

“Hey Buck, are you about ready to go?” Steve’s voice shook Bucky out of his thoughts.

“Of course, but it’s Detective James Baker now, remember?” he said with a grin. After settling in at the tower he discovered his love for some of the newer shows, including Brooklyn 99 and decided to have some fun with going undercover like Jake Peralta did.

“Are you sure that won’t be too obvious, James?” Steve said with emphasis on his somewhat new name, only half joking. “It's so close to your real name."

"No one knows I've joined the Avengers, and if they do recognize me then we'll have a bigger issue than my blown cover." he responded with a laugh as he grabbed his bags.

~~~

The professor’s monotone voice droned on as you sat in your lecture. “Now who can tell me what the British did to try and convince America to join WWI? Y/N?” You answered without looking up from your screen, “They dumped oil drums filled with cut off baby hands into New York harbor, claiming they were from Belgian children killed by the Germans, but it was actually propaganda. The hands were from British children who died of the flu.” The professor looked at you for a moment before responding, “Very good, Miss Y/L/N.” You wished he had asked someone else, you were right in the middle of watching Jake propose to Amy on Brooklyn 99, and besides, if he was trying to prove you weren’t paying attention he should have used a harder question. Everyone learned about that in tenth grade, it wasn’t like it was uncommon knowledge.

The bell rang and you left the lecture hall, but not before the prof assigned a 3 page essay on the assassination of Franz Ferdinand. The autumn air had a slight, crisp chill to it as you walked to the campus coffee shop. The leaves were just starting to change color and the ones that had fallen made a satisfying crunch under your feet as you walked. You could hear students talking noisily and realized you had reached the little cafe. People sat outside in the little courtyard enjoying the weather. You waved to a few friends before stepping inside. After setting your things down at your usual table, you walk to the counter.

“Hey Y/N! What’ll you be having today?” the barista, Sasha, smiled at you.

“Oh, hi, uhh can I get a large iced latte with three extra shots of espresso?”

“No problem, but are you sure you want three? The drink already has four pumps of espresso in it to start with.” she explained.

“I have had the longest day, and it’s only 10 A.M.,” you laughed “besides I can’t cry over a failed test if I’m undergoing cardiac arrest.”

“Alright then, but when you can’t sit still in your next lecture don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

After paying for your drink you head back to your table, taking in a deep breath of air. When you needed an escape, this was always the best place to come. The warm, cozy environment was so calming, and you could actually get some work done since it wasn’t bustling and noisy like the courtyard outside. Your name was called and you got up to get your drink. You felt strangely calm for once. It dawned on that for the first time in ages you didn’t have any work that needed to be done immediately. You pulled out your notes and a highlighter and made some annotations in your notes. You put your earbuds in and lost yourself in the satisfying job of highlighting important facts to remember.

Before you realized how long you were sitting there for your alarm went off. “Shit!” you exclaimed. You tried to down the rest of your coffee while putting your things away but ended up spilling it all over yourself- and your notes. You groaned in frustration while grabbing your things and rushing off to your next class. The sad thing was, this always happened. No matter how careful you were, or how neat you tried to be, you always spilled something on your notes. Mainly coffee, but there was the occasional chocolate smears there too. What could you say, you had a sweet tooth. You speed walked across campus, hoping to make it to the lecture hall with a few minutes to spare. As you walked you saw two good looking guys rounding the bend on the sidewalk near you.

They didn’t look like students, and one was carrying a red binder stuffed with papers. Probably interviewers for potential interns, you thought with an eye roll. Or they could be working for CollegeBoard. Dear God, what if they saw the PSAT memes you made in tenth grade and were here to kick you out of college? You laughed at the thought but still glanced at the sidewalk as they drew closer, just in case. 

As they neared you, you could just make out snippets of their conversation. The one with the binder sounded irritable “I’m telling you Sam, I don’t think we’ll find him here-”

“Get out of the way!” someone yelled.

You just managed to jump to the side as a person on roller skates raced past. Unfortunately, you jumped directly into the path of the two men, dropping all your notes and causing the one holding the binder to drop his as he caught you. “Hey, careful there, you wouldn’t want to get hurt.” he said with an easy smile. Huh, you hadn’t noticed how toned he was until now.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” your cheeks flushed as you regained your balance, “I’m sorry about your notes-”

“It’s nothing to worry about,” his friend said kindly as he collected their papers, “people here are always rushing around without looking where they’re going.”

You knelt down to pick up your notes quickly and said “Thanks, speaking of rushing I have class but uh have a good day…” and rushed off. Unfortunately you didn't have time to check if the coffee stained papers you grabbed were your own, but maybe you should have anyways.


	2. Chapter 2

Sitting in the small cafe, Bucky glanced down at his red binder, overflowing with what he believed to be coffee-stained police reports and interview notes. “I just can’t see why a killer would be hiding at a college,” he stated, his exasperation clear. “I really don’t think we’ll find him here.” They had been looking for three days and interviewing people, hoping to get a possible lead on their HYDRA assassin. All potential leads that they began with had fizzled out and they were back to step one. Sam had a theory that the assassin may be hiding as a student or have ties to the university. 

“Look man, I can’t prove it, but I have a hunch. We don’t have many other options right now, so our best chance at catching him is to follow this lead and hope it takes us somewhere.” Sam was right and Bucky knew it. But that didn’t mean he necessarily had to like it.

“Alright, but if we’re going to do this, we might as well do it right. I was thinking about what that one kid said,” he opened the binder, “and I-”

“You what?” Sam replied, not glancing at the notes.

“I think we’re in trouble.” he stated, sliding the notes to Sam. Instead of the police report, it was a lab report, with your name at the top.

~~~

You slid into your seat just moments before the professor began her lecture. She gave you a stern look but said nothing, and you breathed a sigh of relief. There was a 50/50 chance that she either had you or you were her favorite student, you could never quite tell. You flipped open your notes, but instead of seeing the lab report you completed it was a police report. Your mind flashed back to the two men you had run into, and you realized you must have grabbed the wrong red binder. As you were about to get out of your set it dawned on you that it was too late to find them now. Besides, you couldn’t very well leave the lecture hall right now, so you resolved to try and track them down and give it back when class ended. Until then you had some very interesting reading material. 

The police report was dated from about a week ago. It was investigating an alleged murder, but the really interesting part was that the killer was a supposed member of HYDRA. Everyone had assumed that HYDRA was shut down and disbanded after their files and SHIELDs had gone public. Apparently, everyone was wrong. The victim was killed by a lethal dose of poison, which was most likely not self-administered, leading to the theory of homicide. The report stated that the poison used was belladonna, which was odd considering it’s obvious symptoms. Also considering the fact that you had just learned about it in your biology class. 

The victim was a mole in the HYDRA base, a Mr. Vitsin Petrovich. Apparently he worked as a double-agent for SHIELD and HYDRA until the “mutual” collapse. Petrovich retired to the country, where he lived until his death. He must have been found by the new order of HYDRA. Your only question was, why belladonna? It didn’t exactly scream subtle,, so it certainly wasn’t meant to be a covert operation. Perhaps they wanted to send a message to former SHIELD agents? You weren’t sure you wanted to find out, but now you were knee-deep in this mystery. You wondered, if you didn’t stop reading this report, would you end up six feet under like Petrovich? 

Before you knew it, class had ended. You’d have to ask a friend for the notes later, but right now you had to find out who those men with the binder were. If they were HYDRA agents you would be screwed. “Oh God,” you said to yourself, “those papers had my name on them. They could track me down. I’m gonna die.” Stepping out of the lecture hall you felt the cold whip of wind. The weather had turned brisk while you were in class. You wondered where you should go, since your dorm probably wasn’t safe. As you walked through the campus you came to a decision. Instead of going directly home you would head to the local superstore. In case they did in fact work for HYDRA you needed a way to protect yourself. You taught yourself how to throw knives to seem edgier during your emo phase in middle school but stopped once you grew out of it. Looking back at it now though, it could help you stay alive. Once you got to the store you could pick up a bell and a mouse trap, just as an extra precaution if someone tried breaking in. 

You took a deep breath as you stepped into the parking garage. No one else was there it seemed but you grabbed your keys a little tighter just in case. Once you got into your car you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding in. 

“Don’t scream,” came a gruff voice from your backseat. You screamed.

You woke up in what seemed to be an apartment. Looking around you could tell it was rented, most likely for short-term living arrangements. Your mind raced as you tried to figure out why you were there and why, exactly, you were tied to a chair. As the memories raced back in your heart started racing. They probably were going to kill you. Or torture you for information. Or both. You tried to regulate your breathing when you heard whispers coming from the other room.

“Look, Bucky, she might just be the one who did it. Or she might know something, do you think her taking our papers was an accident?” 

“Yes, I do think it was an accident, Sam! Take one look at her and tell me if you seriously think she’s capable of killing someone. I seriously doubt it and I know you do too.”

“Alright fine, but we aren’t letting her leave until she tells us everything she knows.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't updated recently, things have been really stressful and I didn't have much motivation to write. I'm back now though and I'll try to update more regularly! Let me know what you thought of this chapter in the comments, don't forget to leave kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

“Tell us everything you know.” Sam looked at the girl sitting in front of them. She was a student at the college, but that alone wouldn’t prove her innocence. 

“All I know is what was in the police report that I _accidently_ got ahold of.” she responded. She tried to sound calm but Sam could tell she was nervous. To be fair, she was tied to a chair and had no idea what was going on. Or was that just what she wanted them to believe. 

“Hey, Sam, you mind if I talk to you for a minute?” Bucky asked. “I don’t know if this is getting us anywhere. Besides,” he added under his breath, “she’s clearly scared and isn’t going to be a threat. Do we really need her tied up?” 

“Fine, we can untie her, but she isn’t leaving yet. Not until we can be sure she’s not with HYDRA. You know Tony would have our heads if we accidently let our only lead go. Let alone the Hell that Steve would raise.” 

“You’re right,” he conceded. “But it’s getting late. How about we offer for her to stay the night here? Before you ask, I can sleep on the couch and she can take my room.”  
  


“And if she refuses? We can’t let her just leave.”

“Then it’ll be a late night.”

~~~

You shivered as the two men entered the room again. You could tell one of them had what seemed to be a metal arm, and you assumed that one was Bucky. Something clicked for you then, and your mind flashed back to a news clip of the Avengers fighting an unknown enemy known as The Winter Soldier, who was later revealed to be the “long-dead” best friend of Captain America, James Buchanan Barnes. You found yourself getting nervous, since you weren’t sure exactly whose side he was on.

The other man appeared to be The Falcon, which eased your mind a bit. You remembered him fighting alongside the Avengers, not against them. But what if he had been brainwashed? No, that wouldn’t happen. Would it? You were overthinking everything, and weren’t sure if you had taken your anxiety medicine that morning or not. 

“Hey there,” Bucky knelt down beside the chair, “I’m going to untie you alright? I don’t want to regret that decision though, so please don’t make any brash decisions.” he said kindly.

You nodded dumbly, not trusting yourself to speak. Once the ropes were off you slowly rubbed your wrists, noticing some burn marks where you must have struggled against the ropes without realizing it. 

Bucky’s eyes met yours, and for a brief second you forgot all about where you were as you felt butterflies fill your stomach. As soon as your broke eye contact the filling was forgotten and you felt panic seize you again. Sam cleared his throat, seemingly uncomfortable with the scene playing out before him. “So, do you want to tell her about the deal or should I?” he asked.

“Wait, what deal?” you asked, fear seeping through your body. “Like a plea deal? Oh God, I can’t go to jail-”

“No, not a plea deal.” Bucky said with a light chuckle. “A deal about questioning. And, uh, sleeping arrangements. It’s getting a little late, and rather than us all be up til who knows when asking you questions, we were thinking you could spend the night here and we could pick things back up in the morning when we’re all well-rested. Now, you don’t need to worry, you get to sleep in a regular bed and I’ll take the couch. Does that sound alright?”

“Well, yes, that should be fine. I’m assuming I don’t have much choice in the matter. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble though, could I go back to my dorm to get my anxiety medication. It helps calm me down a lot and I don’t do too well without it.” 

“Well, it probably isn’t the best idea but I think it would be alright.” Sam stated. “Bucky, you can drive her over? Unless you’ll be needing some backup?” he said with a laugh. 

“I’ll be fine, Sam.” Bucky retorted, rolling his eyes. “We’ll be back soon enough.” He led you to the door, and as you stepped outside the cold night air chilled you to the bone. You shivered audibly but said nothing. You didn’t want to seem any weaker than you already did. “I’m sorry we didn’t bring a jacket with us. Here, you can have mine. I really don’t need it anyways.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to be any trouble, and I don’t want you to get sick because of me.” you responded, blushing slightly. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Besides, if my mother taught me anything it was how to be a gentleman. As for the getting sick part, one benefit of being a super-soldier is not having to deal with the common cold.” He shrugged his jacket off and you glanced away, trying not to stare. You shivered again, worse this time, and quickly grabbed the jacket. 

“I really didn’t know anything about the murders until the papers got switched. It was an accident.” 

“It’s alright, I believe you. Sam does too, he’s just being cautious.” As you got to your old, beaten down car that somehow still passed inspection he opened the door for you. “To be honest, I can see why he’d want you to have a lead, we need to get one soon, or else all of this is for nothing.”  
  


You chewed on your lower lip in thought as you got into the car. “Well, maybe I shouldn’t be saying this, it might just drag me deeper into the case but I think I have a lead for you. In biology we were discussing poisons and their effects on the human body. We just finished a unit on belladonna. It’s not much, it’s probably just a coincidence, but it might help you.”

“Was there, by chance, a unit on cyanide?”

“Um, yeah, about a week or two ago, why?’

  
“Well doll, I think you just helped us find a lead.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Actually updating? It's more likely than you think! Anyways, thank you all so much for the continued support! Sorry this chapter is on the shorter side, but I promise the next one will make up for it! As always, kudos and comments are appreciated! Love you all <3


	4. Chapter 4

“Do you have all your notes on poisons in your dorm?” Bucky asks. 

“I should, the only other ones are in the binder you guys already have. We can run in, grab the meds and notes and run right back out.” You step out of the car but don’t feel the chill this time. “Um, on second thought, maybe you should wait in the hall, my roommate Alicia might be home and I think she would notice if the Winter Soldier was walking me home.” Bucky flinched at the nickname and you immediately regretted it. “Oh, sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, it’s alright, I should be used to it by now anyways, but it’s hard to let go of the past. To let go of what I did,” he looks at the ground and sighs.

“I understand that,” you placed a cautious hand on his arm and took a deep breath in, “my parents died when I was younger, in a fire that I caused. I don’t remember how it happened exactly but I remember the flames. If I had been more careful then maybe they’d still be here. I still blame myself everyday.” 

Bucky turned to face you. “It was brave of you to share that, and it’s brave of you to face it everyday.” You felt the tears welling up in your eyes and quickly brushed them away. Now wasn’t the time to wallow in self pity. 

“Thank you, Bucky. Now, I do believe we have some information to retrieve.”

~~~

You walked into the dorm hall and took a deep breath. The music from down the street blasted, making you vaguely realize it was a Friday night, and the frat boys were throwing their weekly beer pong contest. How classy. 

“Here we are, dorm C-5. I should be back soon,” you chuckled lightly, “and if I’m not, assume Alicia is holding me hostage talking about her latest date debacle.”

“Noted,” Bucky said with a smile, “maybe grab a few clothes and things, just in case.” 

“In case of what?” you ask, your blood chilling.

“The first rule of thumb with HYDRA- hope for the best, expect the worst.”

Your dorm was dark as you stepped inside. Seemed like Alicia wasn’t home. You let out sigh of relief, no doubt she would start questioning why you were acting weird. You darted through the kitchen and into your room. You flipped on the light switch of the room and breathed in the familiar scent of the air freshner you had plugged in. Alicia wanted to have candles in the dorm but you refused, saying you were worried about the risk of falling asleep with one burning. You never told Alicia what happened to your parents. You didn’t want her to look at you with the sympathy that some people did, or the disgust that others did. 

The duffle bag you took on roadtrips was shoved into the back corner of your closet. You ran to the bathroom and grabbed your anxiety meds but didn’t take one, there wasn’t time. The rest of your notes on poisons sat on the nightstand by your bed. You shoved it into your duffle bag, hoping your theory was right.

As you started to grab the rest of the items you needed, you realized something felt off. And that was a bit of an understatement. You quickly rummaged through your desk drawer and noticed two things missing. Your journals and a picture of you and your parents, the only picture of them that you had left. 

The realization of it all hit you in the chest. Someone had been here. Someone had looked through your things. Someone had taken your last connection to your parents. Your parents were gone and it was your fault. Your fault. You felt your body heat rise, memories of the flames dancing in front of your eyes. Smoke burned your lungs as your mind returned you to that night. 

The fire was out of control. There were flames everywhere. “Mama! Papa! Where are you? Mama!” Plaster fell from the ceiling as you ran. Fire licked at your skin but you couldn’t stop running. You had to find them. You had to let them know you were sorry. That it would be okay. They had to make it out. They had to. You raced through the doorway of their bedroom to find the ceiling caved in. The room was an inferno, resembling something similar to the ninth circle of hell. You couldn’t see the bed, but whispered a silent prayer that it was empty. 

Turning on your heel, you sped through the house, the smoke burning your eyes and scratching at your throat. Dizziness started to creep in, blacking out the corners of your vision but you kept going. Spots formed in front of your eyes as you ran towards the front door. You tried to remember what caused the fire but your mind was blank. All you remembered was feeling angry about being put in time-out and the flames erupting in your room.

The air outside the house was muggy, fitting for the mid-July night. Firefighters tried in vain to put the fire out. “Mama! Papa! Where are you? Where are you?” They had to be out here. They had to be safe. “Please don’t leave me! Please! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do it!” 

  
Two sheet-covered stretchers were waiting to be loaded into the ambulance. A tall firefighter came up to you. “Hey there sweetie,” he knelt down and looked you in the eyes. “I have some bad news to tell you,” his words started to blend together. All you heard were the words “parents” followed by “dead”.

But he was lying. He had to be. You ran to the stretchers and although you couldn’t quite reach the top of them you clung to the legs of them for dear life. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’m sorry. Please don’t go. Please.” 

You felt someone touch your shoulder and were dragged back to the present. You glanced up and saw Bucky’s eyes filled with worry. Your breath was ragged as you tried to calm down. 

“Here, take this,” Bucky held out one of your meds and a bottle of water as he sat on the floor next to you. “Take deep breaths. In for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight. There you go, it’s alright. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong? If you don’t want that’s fine too, but sometimes talking things out can help.” 

“Someone,” you started, and then felt the tears choking you up. You took a deep breath and tried again. “Someone was here. They took my journals and the last picture I had of my parents and I. It made me spiral and I-” you struggled to get the last bit out, “-I had a flashback to that night. It’s fine now. Really.” You knew it wasn’t but you didn’t need Bucky to be worried about you. There were too many other things that needed worrying over.

“Hey, it’s alright. Remember what I told you earlier? You’re brave for facing this. But things aren’t quite fine yet. HYDRA must know that you’re here and that you know something.” Just then Bucky’s phone rang. 

“Sam, what is it? We should be on our way back soon.” 

“There’s been another murder. Ricin this time.”

“And this couldn’t wait until we got back? She’s had a long day.” Bucky huffed. 

“Well it’s about to get longer. A picture was found at the crime scene. And she’s in it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, this chapter is a bit longer than the last. Thank you all so much for the feedback on the last chapter, your support means a lot to me! Like always, kudos and comments are appreciated! Love you all <3


	5. Chapter 5

“What do you mean ‘she’s in it’?” Bucky questioned. 

“I  _ mean _ , she’s in the photo. I don’t know how to make that any more clear to you,” Sam sighed from the other side of the phone. “And, assuming that she’s been with you this whole time then someone is definitely using this to draw her out. Get back here immediately, or she may be the next target.” 

You felt your heart seize up as he said the word “target”, and your knees gave way beneath you. The fall was thankfully broken by your mattress, but the wind was still knocked out of you. This couldn’t be happening. Not even 24 hours earlier you were in class watching shows in class, and now your whole life was being upended.

You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping to open them and realize this was all one awful nightmare. All your life you wanted to be the main character in some adventure story, but now it was actually happening and you would give anything for it to stop. 

“Hey, doll, it’s alright, deep breaths,” Bucky sat on the bed next you, “Shh, it’s alright. I know you’re going through a lot right now, but could you tell me why someone might have chosen to take that photo over everything else?”

“Well, it was taken about a week or so before they-” you reconsidered what you were about to say and quickly changed your mind “-before the fire. But I don’t know why someone would choose to take it, unless they knew how much it meant to me.” 

“So the killer might be someone close to you?” he asked, his brow slightly furrowed.

“Maybe. Or they may have taken it since it was the only physical photo of me here. I’m sorry I can’t help that much.”

“It’s alright,” Bucky said softly, “you’ve been through Hell today. Besides, you did give us a lead. That’s a lot more than Sam and I accomplished together the whole time we’ve been on this case. Now, how about we head back to the apartment, we’ll stay there for the night and then we’ll figure out what to do from there.” 

~~~

The apartment was dark when you arrived. Sam was already asleep and you were about to doze off standing up. You and Bucky spent the drive back in relative silence. He tried to make conversation at first but you kept falling asleep mid-sentence so he decided it was better to just let you rest. 

Like he promised before, you slept in the other bed and he took the couch in the living room. You protested a bit, but quickly gave in. As soon as you laid your head down on the pillow you fell into a deep, relatively dreamless sleep. 

Daylight shone into the room as someone opened the curtains, startling you out of your slumber. “Ok sleepyhead, up and at ‘em,” Sam laughed. 

“Well,” you replied groggily, “you’re certainly in a better mood today.”

“That’s the benefit of getting some actual sleep. Bucky made breakfast, so you better hurry up while there’s still some left,” Sam chuckled, “Luckily for him cooking is one of his redeeming qualities.” He turned and left, leaving you bleary-eyed and trying to process the conversation. 

Once you were fully awake and functioning you made your way over to the kitchen.

“Well,” Bucky said, “looked who finally decided to join us.” He handed you a plate of pancakes with strawberries to the side. “So, how are you feeling?”

“A bit better. Taking my medication helped me a lot. It’s just been a lot to think about.”   
  


“Yeah, it always is. Sam and I were talking about it, and since it isn’t safe for you to go back to your dorm, and this place will probably be compromised soon, the best place for you to go right now is the compound.”

“The,” you took a deep breath, wondering if you misheard him, “the compound? Like as in  _ the  _ compound?”

“Unless there’s a secret one that Sam isn’t telling me about, then yes,  _ the  _ compound. I’d like to tell you that it’s completely voluntary, but since your life will be in severe danger anywhere else, you don’t really have a choice in the matter. Sorry about that, doll.” 

“My main goal right now is to find out who took my parents picture, so if that means going to the compound, then I’ll go.”

“Oh, speaking of the photo,” Sam walked over to you, “I called in a few favors and managed to get it out of evidence.” He handed you the picture and you felt one piece of your life click back into place. 

“Thank you, Sam. That means a lot to me.” You smiled and placed the image on the counter next to you. As you started to eat your breakfast you began to examine the photograph. Your fork clattered to the plate as you saw something that you’d never noticed before.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky came over and stood next to you. 

You took in a shaky breath. Your eyes started to well up with tears as pieces of the puzzle started to click together. It all made sense now. You pointed to where you were sitting in the picture. “Look, there on my right hand. Are you seeing this too?” 

Bucky squinted at the photo, and then sucked in a breath when he realized what you were referring to. “Sam, come here, I think you need to see this.” 

“I never knew what started the fire,” you began, “Just that I started it somehow. It really was my fault.” Your eyes drifted to the picture again, and you wondered how you never noticed the flame erupting from your fingertips before. Your skin started to feel warm and the world seemed to be closing in around you. 

“I have to leave. Right now.” You stepped back and bumped into the couch before making a break for the door. Bucky blocked your path before you could make it out. “Please, I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you too. Just let me go.” As the final words left your mouth, the world around you erupted into fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, seems like things are finally heating up, aren't they? Sorry, too soon? Anyways, thank you all so much for the love you gave on the last chapter, your support means a lot to me! Like always, kudos and comments are appreciated! Love you all <3


	6. Chapter 6

Smoke filled the room, blocking everything from sight. Bucky coughed, mind racing as he tried to call out to you. How could this be possible? The heat was almost unbearable. “Y/N?” 

No response. “Please, this wasn’t your fault! We can figure this out, just try to put out the fire!” 

Finally, there was a meek response. “I can’t do this. I can’t hurt someone else again. I have to go.” 

The heat filled the room, followed by a blast of cold and the sound of a door slamming. The smoke cleared out of the room, and Bucky was able to see the damage the fire had caused. Sam stood near the kitchen, trying to process what just happened. There were burn marks throughout the room, and the couch was basically incinerated. 

“What the Hell did I just witness?” Sam said, the shock in his voice clear as his volume grew. “Because I’ve seen some things, dealing with the Avengers. Telekinetics, super soldiers,” he motioned to Bucky, “and a literal  _ god.  _ But never, and I mean never, have I seen someone light themselves on fire like that. What the hell, man?” 

“Well, I have,” Bucky responded, “it looked like a form of pyrokinesis that HYDRA created.”

~~~

You ran down the street, thankful you knew this area well. As you made your way to one of the empty apartments you slowed down, trying to take in what just happened to you. 

The fire. It really was your fault all along. What kind of  _ monster  _ starts the fire that kills their own parents. What kind of  _ monster  _ has powers that started the fire that killed their parents?

The door to the apartment made an obnoxiously loud creaking sound. You held your breath, praying no one was nearby. Closing the door as quietly as you could, you looked around the apartment, awash with morning light. 

Taking a look around the room you could see a full-body mirror propped up in a corner. A couch sat abandoned, covered by a white sheet. A hall led down to the bedroom. You ran across the bamboo floor, quickly closing the blinds. The room went dark, with only a few rays of light filtering from between the slats in the screen. Perfect. You’d create your own light with what you were about to do. 

If you could figure out how your powers worked, maybe you could figure out how to get rid of them. An image of the thick smoke and flames in the apartment came to mind. You couldn’t hurt anyone else you cared about again.

“Alright,” you thought, “this shouldn’t be too bad, all I have to do is try to light myself on fire. Can’t be too hard, considering I just did it without even thinking about it.” You concentrated on the idea of heat but nothing happened. Then smoke. Still, no flames erupted. Finally you allowed yourself to slip into the bad memories, the fire, the flames enveloping your childhood home. A flicker appeared on your finger, almost as if you were holding a match. 

Your body temperature started rising, and as you let the memories flood in your hand started to produce a flame, then your arm, until eventually you were a living sparkler. Not thinking, you took a deep breath and smoke filled your lungs. Only it didn’t burn, instead, you felt a comforting tingle. It reminded you of something familiar, yet at the same time distant. Thoughts of a facility clouded your mind. A doctor with a German accent, an injection. But they left just as quickly as they came.

As you shook your head to clear your thoughts, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and gasped. Your hair was a curtain of fire, billowing with smoke at every move you made. You were a firework, ready to explode. But then you thought of the damage that you had done. Not all fireworks were meant to shine, some just fizzled out, and you had to accept that. Squeezing your eyes shut, you thought one word. “Out.”

The temperature dropped and you opened your eyes. The fire was gone, and the only sign it was ever there was the faint smell of smoke that was already beginning to fade. There was just one thing left to test. Carefully you walked over to the couch, took the sheet off of it and put it into an empty trash bin. Concentrating all your energy on one single word, you thought “burn”. The sheet caught fire, and slowly burned to nothing but ash. Alright then. Now, just to figure how to stop yourself from doing that ever again.

Without warning, the door to the apartment burst open. A tall man in all black kevlar stood in the doorway, holding a pistol. “Now listen here, we don’t want to hurt you. We can help you. But, if you refuse to cooperate, we’ll have no choice but to use force.” Wait, what did he mean ‘we’? 

Before you could even fully understand what the man said, two more men appeared behind him.

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me who you are and who sent you. Are you with S.H.I.E.L.D.?” The men laughed in response, sending chills down your spine.

“I like this one. Sense of humor. Last one was so serious.” said one of the other men, his voice thick with a Russian accent. 

“I do not believe she’s joking,” the first man said, “but no, we are not sent by S.H.I.E.L.D. Quite the opposite, actually.”

You glanced around the room, trying to find a way to escape them. You wouldn’t allow yourself to be kidnapped by HYDRA agents. The trash bin sat nearby, ashes still smouldering. A connection formed, and the fire started up again. 

“Foolish girl,” the third man laughed, “you think we didn’t know what you could do? That we wouldn’t come prepared? We’ve always known. There is no escaping your destiny.” He lunged forward and grabbed you by the wrist. Flames flickered to life and soon your arm was engulfed in fire. The man winced but didn’t budge. He clamped a steel chain onto each of your wrists. “The little witch has tricks, but HYDRA has tricks too.” Before he finished his sentence the flames were gone. 

Crying out in frustration, you tried to light the spark again, but it was gone. “Do not worry, little sparkler, your powers are not gone for good. We have too much use for them to destroy them.” He tied a cloth around your mouth. “Just in case you get any idea of calling out to that super soldier for help.” 

A van was parked in the back, and they started to lead you through the kitchen to the backdoor. As you passed the trash bin you kicked your leg out and knocked over the can of ashes. Hopefully if Sam and Bucky came looking for you they’d see that and realize there had been a struggle. You thought back to that morning and remembered the hurt look on Bucky’s face when you left. Who were you kidding, why would he look for you? You were either going to die at the hands of HYDRA agents, or be tested on, but there’s no way you’d get free now. 

The door to the van slid open. “No more fighting. You’ll learn obedience soon enough.” The man shoved you into the van and you felt a sharp pain go through your shoulder when you landed. 

“Be careful with her,” the first man scolded, “She may yet be the new soldat.” What was he talking about? You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to count to ten. You’d find a way out of this. Luckily you still could see, and tried to memorize the path the van took. 

Soon enough a nondescript building came into view, with a chain link fence around it. Looking at it you just knew it was electric. The van stopped in front of the gate, pausing only for the men to flash their identification badges. As the gates slammed closed you could hear the sound of your fate being sealed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess it’s safe to say this fic is a slow burn? But seriously, thank you all so much for your support, it means a lot to me! Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	7. Chapter 7

“How do we know she wasn’t working with HYDRA this whole time?” Sam asked, sounding frustrated.

“If she was working with them she wouldn’t have reacted like that,” Bucky responded grimly, “Take it from someone who’s been there.”

“Well then what do we do? Because they’re clearly after her, but she doesn’t seem too keen on being around us right now.”

“The best thing to do is to trail her from a distance. We can keep an eye on her while still keeping her safe. But we need to find out where she went first. Have FRIDAY do a search for her, once we figure out where she is we can go from there. Let’s just hope we find her before they do.”

“What will happen to her if they get to her first?”  
  


“With her powers? Well, ever since I left they’ve been looking for a new soldier.” 

~~~

The sky started to grow dark with clouds as you pulled into the HYDRA compound. “Just great,” you thought, “nothing like a thunderstorm to scare you while you’re being kidnapped.” 

The door of the van opened up. “Alright, little witch, time to go.” The man with the Russian accent, who’s name you overheard to be Ivan, grabbed you by the arm and pulled you out of the vehicle. You felt a knot form in your stomach as you were guided to the doors of the facility.

A steel door that looked depressingly unmeltable stood in front of you. Two guards stood at the door, and you knew that once you were inside you wouldn’t be getting out on your own. 

With a sickening creak the door swung open, and you were ushered inside. Cold steel walls lined the dimly lit hall. There was no carpeting, only a solid concrete floor with a few rust colored stains. A chill hung in the air, but it wasn’t the same as the cold air on campus. It was a silent sort of chill, the kind that came when fear was meant to be instilled. A sickly sweet smell was hanging in the hall, and you quickly realized it was blood. You shivered, but not from the cold. 

“Hurry along,” Ivan said. As you reached a bend in the hall you saw it split into two directions. Only one path led to the main facility and the other went underground. Your blood chilled as you realized you were heading towards the underground trail. “If you cooperated, you could have taken easy way,” Ivan laughed, a cold, brutish sound, “But now, we get to go the fun way.” 

As you walked down the ramp, you started to hear faint screams coming from down below. The tunnel got darker, if that was even possible. You remembered what Bucky did when you started to get anxious and took a deep breath. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Now repeat. Your heart rate started to slow and you felt a bit better. Looking around, you saw that Ivan had fallen a few paces behind you. If you tried to light up now, and if it worked, you could probably use it as a good enough distraction to get away. But then what? You couldn’t get past the other guards. You’d have to wait before doing anything stupid. 

Ivan took the cloth off from around your mouth. “The boss will want to talk to you. She likes talkers.” Well, that was _great_ news. Maybe she’d decide to get it over with and kill you right now.

You reached the bottom of the ramp and came across a series of cells, some empty, some holding prisoners. A desk sat near the biggest cell, which was completely empty except for a large chair. Your heart rate sped up as Ivan led you over to it. He opened the cell door and pushed you inside. Up close you could tell the chair had straps meant to restrain a prisoner. You shuddered when you saw streaks of blood on the arm of the chair. 

“The last few, uh, experiments, haven’t gone quite as planned.” You whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice. Alicia? No, it couldn’t be. This had to be a trick. “Hello, y/n, nice to see you again. Did you get the gift I left for you?” 

“The… gift?” What was she talking about? 

“You never were the brightest, were you? The picture! I thought for sure you’d piece some of it together when you found out it was left at the crime scene. Apparently, you’re even more clueless than I realized.” She turned to Ivan, “Can you believe I had to be her roommate for so long? I even had to pretend to be her friend. It was absolutely exhausting.” She turned back to you, “Well, at least I don’t have to do that anymore, now that we’re all caught up. Now, time to see if this new experiment will go as planned.” She clapped and, almost immediately, a guard walked over and roughly strapped you into the chair. 

“What are you going to do to me?” You hated how weak you sounded, but you were just glad you hadn’t started crying. You were beaten up, bruised, wearing yesterday’s clothes, and now you were strapped to a chair about to be experimented on. It’d been a crappy twenty-four hours. 

Thunder boomed in the distance. “Let’s see here, ever since that dear Bucky of yours left, we’ve been down a soldier. Don’t look at me like that, you didn’t think we’d be tracking you? It’s dangerous to leave, well, a precious _investment_ unguarded.” Venom laced through her last words, sending a chill up your spine. “We’ve been tracking you since you were little. Your parents took out some risky investments and couldn’t pay us back. So instead of paying us with cash they gave us you. We did a few experiments, and were finally able to perfect pyrokinesis with you. Of course, we couldn’t keep you full time- your parents weren’t that irresponsible. So we had to create different circumstances. The day you set the fire we gave you an extra dose of the injection, knowing it would make you light up later. By the time your parents woke up it would be too late. You’d be ours. One thing we did not expect, however, was the second dose making the powers become permanent.” 

Realization flooded your senses. All of it made sense now, the fire, all of it. Straining against your restraints you screamed in anger and frustration. “You wretched bitch! How dare you? How dare you take my parents from me, take my _life_ from me? You’ll pay for this, I swear on it.” You wanted so badly to light up, to burn this place down with everyone in it. The only thing stopping you was the chains on your wrists, somehow blocking your power. 

Alicia laughed, “Oh, someone’s angry. Don’t worry, your life isn’t over. And HYDRA _helped_ you, silly. Didn’t you ever wonder why you always had a foster home to live at? How you were able to get a full-ride scholarship to a prestigious college? We did all of that for you. What we’re about to do is just cashing in on some, uh, favors.” She motioned to Ivan, who pulled out a long needle. Before you could even move it was in your arm, and you cried out in pain. Then your mind went blank. 

“There, are you going to work with us now?” Alicia said, a smile on her lips.

You didn’t even pause before responding. “Ready to comply.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two new chapters in one weekend, brought to you by Boredom™! Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	8. Chapter 8

“Sergeant Barnes,” FRIDAY’s voice came from the GPS device Bucky held, “we found a facial recognition match. It came from an apartment’s video doorbell from 2 blocks southwest of here. It appears she entered the building approximately 5 hours ago. I’ll scan through the rest of the footage to see if she left.”

“Thank you FRIDAY.” Bucky looked at Sam, “If she’s still there then we may stand a chance.”

“Scan complete. She left the building, but not by choice. The video feed shows three men appearing in a van. I did a search on them and discovered they’re with HYDRA.”   
  


“When was this?” Sam asked. 

“About 4 hours ago,” FRIDAY replied. 

“Oh God, I knew we should have gone after her sooner,” Bucky said, his feelings of guilt evident. “Did you scan the van’s license plate? 

“Yes, but the van was reported stolen a few weeks ago, so that didn’t lead anywhere. However I have linked to the cameras on the streetlights, so if it passes any I’ll be alerted.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY,” replied Sam. “We should go check out the apartment, see if there’s any clues that can help us out there.” 

“Good thinking, Sam. FRIDAY, keep the facial recognition search active too. Just in case she goes somewhere.” 

The drive to the apartment was spent in tense silence, broken only by the sound of Bucky tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. 

“Will you  _ stop  _ that?” Sam asked angrily, finally losing his cool.

“Look, I don’t know what you want me to do, but I’m stressed. It’s our fault she’s in this situation in the first place! Don’t you even feel guilty?”   
  


“No, I don’t feel guilty, because we didn’t get her involved in this. She has pyrokinetic powers from  _ HYDRA.  _ She was clearly involved in some shady stuff before she met us. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help her. She needs our help, obviously. That’s why I’m doing this,” he paused, “But I can’t focus on what needs to be done with your awful tapping, okay man?”

“Fine, you’re right. And I’m done with the tapping,” Bucky said, putting the car in park. “But only because we’re here.” He stepped out of the car and immediately took a step back. The smell of smoke was overpowering. 

“The door’s been knocked clean off its hinges. Whoever did this wasn’t worried about being discreet. Look like typical HYDRA work to you?”   
  


“Not at all,” Bucky replied, observing the scene. “Which means one of two things. They’re either desperate or they don’t need to worry about getting caught.” 

There was a couch in the room with burn marks streaked across the back. A mirror sat in the corner, a residue of black smoke sitting on its surface. The floorboards were laiden with ash, with boot prints occasionally dotting it, leaving behind a pattern that spoke of fear. A trash bin lay on its side, ash spilling out, and that’s when Bucky realized. She had been trying to leave behind clues that she’d been taken. It was a message.

“I’ve received an update on the facial recognition search, but I don’t think you’ll like where she is.” FRIDAY’s voice came from the GPS. “There’s been a murder of another S.H.I.E.L.D. double agent, and she was seen there just twenty minutes before the crime. He died of burn wounds.” 

Bucky went pale, “I knew this would happen, Sam. They’ve turned her into a weapon. Who knows where she’ll be now and whether we’ll be able to find her.”

FRIDAY chimed in, “I’ve actually been able to track the van from the scene of the murder and found it parked outside a building just about a half hour from here. That was the last place she was spotted on camera.”

“Well then,” Sam stated, “it won’t be as difficult to find her as you thought.” 

They pulled into a grove of trees a half mile from the facility. Far enough to not be spotted by security cameras but close enough to make a quick escape. Sam cringed as the gravel road crunched noisily under their feet. The rain had stopped, leaving behind a dewy petrichor reminiscent of a spring afternoon. 

“If you want to be found you might want to walk a little louder.” Bucky grumbled.

“Hey man, I’m just trying to quicken up the pace so we can go save your girl.”

“She’s not,” Bucky blushed slightly, “she’s not my girl.” 

“Uh huh,” Sam said, “and you just happen to feel so bad about this because-”   
  


Bucky interrupted him, “Because I’ve been there before! I’ve felt the guilt of being turned into a weapon. No one should have to go through that,” he whisper-shouted. “She’s an incredible person, but that’s all the more reason why she shouldn’t be with me. I don’t do relationships, not anymore. I don’t want someone to be put in harm’s way because of their connection to me. Now come on, we need to get there before she gets hurt even more.”

Hiding in the underbrush of the thicket outside the facility, Sam observed the security measures that HYDRA had put in place. “Look, there’s only two guards outside the door. If you can get us inside, we’re set. We shouldn’t have any trouble getting past them.”

“Getting in is the easy part,” Bucky responded, “it’s getting out that’s the tricky part.”   
  


~~~

You awoke from the nightmare, blinking the sleep from your eyes. At least, you thought it was a nightmare, but one look at your surroundings told a different story. As you opened your eyes the clean bright light blinded you, forcing you to squeeze your eyes shut before slowly reopening them. 

“Well, our little soldat is awake,” Alicia laughed. “I hope you enjoyed your, uh, shall we say rest?” 

“What did you do to me?” The anger you had felt before was building up again. Glancing at your wrists you saw you were no longer in chains. You could burn this place down to nothing but ashes. After what they did to your family, it would only be fair. 

“Oh, don’t worry. What we did to you was nothing compared to what you did to Miss Berlioz. See, our sources found out she was a double agent. And it seems that Elaine just couldn’t take the heat.”

Your voice was weak, “What,” you took a deep breath, “What are you talking about?”   
  
“You’re so inquisitive. I always liked that about you. You’ll see soon enough.” She clapped twice and a screen appeared in the wall. “We thought that by seeing your full  _ potential _ , you’d be more, well, more willing to work with us. I’ll be back in a bit. Let me know what you think of the movie.” She smiled and walked out of the cell, the door blending in with the rest of the cell once it closed. 

You looked at the mirrored walls and instantly knew it was two way glass. You shuddered, realizing there were probably at least ten HYDRA agents watching you. Without warning the screen started to play what appeared to be security camera footage of an empty alleyway. A woman in civilian clothes appeared on screen. 

“Yes, Director Fury. I have the files. I’ll be there in an hour.” She put the phone back in her pocket. The sound of glass cracking was heard in the background and the woman whirled around and faced the screen. “Who’s there?” 

You stepped forward out of the shadows, the fire in your hand glowing white with heat. Before the woman on screen could react you pounced into action, grabbing a fistful of her hair, effectively setting her head ablaze. She cried out in pain as you latched onto her wrists. When you finally let go, the bone was exposed through charred flesh.    
  


You squeezed your eyes shut, not able to bear seeing what came next. Bile rose in your throat as you continued to hear the screams over the speakers, until finally a sickening thud was heard. You opened your eyes to see yourself on screen standing over the body, almost burnt beyond recognition. The footage shut off, leaving you alone in the cell with your thoughts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope all of you are staying safe and staying home! Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	9. Chapter 9

“Alright, I have a plan, but I don’t think you’re going to like it. You fly in overhead and provide a distraction while I sneak up and disarm the guards.” 

“In this lightning storm,” Sam replied “no way. I’ll take my chances on the ground. Besides, isn’t getting in the ‘easy part’?” Bucky glared at him. “Your words man, not mine.” 

“So what do you suggest? We just walk right through the gates? By the time we get rid of those two the rest of the guards will have been alerted.” The sound of gravel crunching came from a distance away, and Bucky’s eyes lit up as the idea came to him. “Unless of course, we ride through the gates.” 

They snuck through the muddy underbrush until they came across the motorcade of HYDRA trucks. As the last truck drove close to the trees they jumped on, quickly ducking inside the tarp covered back. There was only one guard stationed, and Bucky tossed him easily out of the back. 

“Well, this is cozy. Hiding in the back of a truck to sneak into an enemy compound. What could go wrong?” Sam stated with a wry laugh.

“Hey buddy it isn’t my fault that the legendary Falcon is scared to fly in some lightning.”

  
“The suit is powered by electricity, so it isn’t my fault that lightning bolts will be attracted to it,” retorted Sam, “and it _certainly_ is not my fault that you’re too old to remember your basic science lessons.” 

The truck slowed to a halt and the sound of a gate creaking open came from in front of them. All the other trucks went right through, but instead of following behind, it remained parked. A HYDRA agent jumped out of the drivers’ seat. “I need clearance to see the boss,” she said into the intercom, “I have the cargo she needed delivered.”

Sam looked at the crates that sat in piles around them. “It’s all flame-resistant gear. And,” he paused, glancing at Bucky, “torture devices. I think they’re meant for her.”

“Well then it’s a good thing we’re getting her out of there before HYDRA has a chance to use them, huh?” 

The truck’s door shut with a loud bang and the truck started rolling forward again. The compound’s gate slammed closed behind them and they were in. Instead of going through the main doors, however, the vehicle headed towards a garage that was barely noticeable from the gate. 

Once they pulled in, the driver’s voice came from the front. “Alright John,” she called back, “I’ll get someone to unload the crates. You’re needed in the cell block, apparently some test subjects are causing a ruckus.”

Bucky cleared his throat, “That’s a copy.”

“Is everything alright? You sound like you’re catching a cold.”

“Oh yeah,” he responded, “just all this rain.”

“Alright then, well I’ll see you around. Feel better.” 

Sam let out a breath as soon as she left. “Dude, I thought we’d been found out. So, where do you think she’s being kept?”

“Every HYDRA facility that holds test subjects usually has two levels. High security threats are placed in the underground holding cells.” He jumped out of the truck and looked around the garage, beckoning for Sam to follow. “And luckily, I’ve been here before.” Pulling open a hidden hatch in the floor, he quickly shimmied down into the tunnel. 

Sam soon joined him, wearing an expression that said “I’m going to regret this.” The tunnel seemed endless, and was only wide enough for a single file line. Cobwebs had formed in the corners and bloodstains erratically smeared along the walls, leaving behind a smell of copper and rust. 

“Close the hatch behind you,” Bucky instructed. “This tunnel will lead us directly to her, but the floor echoes, so step lightly or else they’ll find us.”

After some time the passage led to a split, one path leading upwards and one heading farther down. Sam sighed, “I’m guessing we gotta go deeper?”

“We’re almost there, keep quiet.” They continued along the lower path for a short while before it stopped abruptly. Bucky raised a finger to his lips and pointed to a metal grate above them. Bucky peered through the holes in it, the light filtering through just enough to see by. He listened intently for any noise, and hearing none, gently lifted the cover. 

Stepping out of the dimly lit tunnel, Bucky squinted as he entered the bright room. Clean, white light shone through fluorescent lights. An operation table, complete with fresh sheets laid out neatly, sat in the middle of the room. A counter lined one wall, with sadistic looking tools neatly lined up in glass paned cabinetry. In stark contrast, the floor was a dirty, stained mess. Congealed blood pooled in some areas, while what appeared to be pieces of flesh and bone littered others. 

“So, do you still know where we are?” Sam asked, cringing as he took in the sight in front of him.   
  
“Vaguely,” answered Bucky. “Outside that door is a hall, and that leads to the most high security cell in the compound. It’s a stand alone cell, with two way glass lining it completely. Considering what we’ve seen, I’m assuming that’s where she’s being kept.”

“And how are we going to get in? We aren’t exactly dressed like HYDRA agents.”  
  
“Well lucky for us I have something a bit better than access codes.”

~~~

“What do you think about the little movie we made for you?” Alicia said, the door to the cell sliding open.

You gave no response, just looked at the floor in front of you. 

“How about we play a little game, if you win, you can ask a question about whatever you want to know. If you lose, you cooperate with us, no more temper tantrums.”

Glancing up, you looked her in the eyes. “You could tell me the meaning to life itself and it wouldn’t be worth the risk. I will never hurt an innocent person again. Now, _you_ on the other hand, are far from innocent.” 

“Well, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you?” Alicia smiled, “Fine, I guess we’ll have to do this the, uh, hard way. Get up. I ordered something special, just for you. We’re going to go try it out.” 

Before she could pull you up from the chair and loud clamor came from outside the cell. Alicia narrowed her eyes and glanced towards the door. “Unfortunately, it seems I have something to take care of first. Wait here. And don’t even think of leaving.” 

Shots rang out as fragments of glass rained down around you. Standing behind the destroyed wall was none other than Bucky Barnes himself. 

“Hello there, James.” Alicia looked at him, “Nice of you to drop by.” 

“It’s Bucky,” he corrected, “and you know why I’m here.”

Sam joined him, after making sure there were no other guards nearby. He held up a gun and aimed it at Alicia. “I suggest you let us pass.”  
  
“Or what? You’ll shoot me? Go ahead,” she taunted, “you _need_ me.”

“No, we really don’t,” Sam responded. He lowered the aim of the gun and fired it into her leg. “But unfortunately Stark does.”

Bucky walked over to you and helped you up from the chair. Looking you in the eyes he asked, “Are you alright doll?” 

Weakly, you shook your head ‘no’ in response, and he pulled you into a hug. Tears started to fall as you hugged him back, but you quickly tried to blink them away. You didn’t need him to see just how damaged you felt. “I hurt someone else. Someone else is dead because of me.” 

“It’s alright, I’ve got you,” Bucky whispered to you, “you’re safe now, you’re safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Finally having something somewhat romantic in my fic? It’s more likely than you think! And thank you all so much for 1k hits! Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	10. Chapter 10

Sam pointed his gun at any HYDRA agents that tried to stand in your way as you exited the compound. “Here’s how this is gonna go,” he said to them, “we’re gonna walk out of here, and you’re going to let us. Because although Stark needs her,” he motioned to Alicia, who was limping behind the rest of the group, “he doesn’t need any of you. Stay out of our way, and you can escape with your lives.”

Finally you made it to the car, Sam getting in the back with Alicia, and you sitting shotgun. Bucky sat next to you in the drivers’ seat.

“Did you have to park so far away?” Alicia complained, “My feet are killing me.”

“Considering you’re a prisoner right now, you’d better keep a lid on it.” Sam replied.

“If anyone should be a prisoner right now, it should be that ‘doll’ of yours. She killed someone, I didn’t.”

You tensed up, the video playing on a loop in your mind. You’d hurt another innocent person.    
  
“Watch it.” Bucky replied, venom lacing his words. 

“Are we going to the compound?” You looked out the window, unsure of what you wanted the answer to be. 

“Yes, we are, and you’ll have a room there for as long as you want.” We sent one word ahead to Tony and Nick. They’re talking about recruiting you for the Avengers Initiative, if you want to join, that is.”

“I, I don’t know for sure yet. Can I think about it?”

“Of course, doll. However long you need.” 

“Is it alright if I don’t talk about what happened right away? To be honest, all I really want to do right now is watch Brooklynn Nine-Nine and have some coffee.” You smiled to yourself, remembering the good things in life.

“You don’t need to talk about any of it until you’re ready.” Bucky paused, “Wait, you watch Brooklynn Nine-Nine too?” Your eyes lit up, and he smiled. There was a sparkle there that he hadn’t quite noticed before. Now he was wondering how he could ever miss it. 

“It’s been my favorite shows for a while now! Actually, I was watching it right before, well before all this,” you vaguely gestured to everyone in the car. “I just love everything about it. Maybe watching it can help me get back into the groove of things.”   
  


“Maybe you two could watch it together,” Sam suggested with a smirk, “To help adjust to the compound, of course.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes in response, but as you glanced at him, was that a hint of a blush you detected? You finally started to feel the knot in your chest unravel a little. There was something about talking with Bucky and Sam made you feel more at ease. Before you knew it, you forgot that Alicia was even in the car. 

Bucky turned on the radio and was about to change the station before you stopped him. “Wait, this is a good one! Not to be a total dad, but old school rock is pretty good sometimes.”

Sam made eye contact with Bucky in the rear view mirror and chuckled, “Yeah, her and Tony will get along just fine.” 

Soon enough, you were in the city, and when the car pulled up in front of the tower, you gasped. It was more beautiful in person than the pictures they had shown on the news. To be fair, when it had been shown, there was a Hulk-sized hole in the side from the Attack on New York. 

Bucky opened the car door for you. “Welcome home,” he said with a smile. “That is if you decide to stay of course, which you don’t have to but if you do-”   
  


Sam cut him off, “Welcome to Avengers Tower. We hope you enjoy your stay.” 

You laughed, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. This was one of the most famous, if not controversial skyscrapers in the world. And you were about to live there, at least temporarily. Alicia made a snide remark about the “morality of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes”, but you couldn’t even process it, because at that moment Tony Stark stepped out of the building to greet you all. 

“Sam, Bucky,” Tony said cordially, “glad to see you didn’t completely ruin your mission.” He turned to you and smiled. “And you must be the spark of hope I’ve been hearing about.” He extended his hand for you to shake, but instead you just stood there staring. “Go ahead, I don’t bite. Well, Pepper might have something different to say about that but,” he smirked. “Anyways, it’s nice to officially meet you.” 

“Dude, come on, she’s traumatized enough as it is,” Sam rolled his eyes. “So, now that you’ve been so  _ formally  _ introduced to the ‘Great Tony Stark’, maybe you want to head in and meet the rest of the team?”

You walked into the Tower, heart pounding. Armed guards arrived to help Sam escort Alicia to where she would be detained. As soon as she was gone you felt a weight lift, the constant reminder of your actions gone, at least momentarily. 

Bucky led you to a private elevator, out of sight from prying eyes. “This will take you to your private rooms, along with the floors reserved for Avengers, should you choose to join. Until then,” he handed you a small plastic card that had your picture next to the Avengers logo, “this it your personal I.D. It will allow you to go to the floors you have access to. Just swipe it right there.” He motioned to a scanner near the elevator’s keypad. 

Cautiously, you swiped the card and sure enough a woman’s voice spoke over the audio system. “Hello Miss Y/N, I’m FRIDAY, which floor would you like to go to?” 

“Uh, which levels do I have access to?”

“You currently have access to the Avenger’s main floor and Sergeant Barnes’ floor.”   
  
“They didn’t have enough time to set up your floor yet,” Bucky said, glancing down, “so until they do I offered to share mine, if that’s alright with you, of course.”

“That’d be great, thank you Bucky. FRIDAY, can you take us to the Avenger’s main level, please?”

“Sure thing.” The button for the top floor lit up and the elevator started rising. You looked out the glass walls at the beautiful view of the city below.

“Um, Bucky,” you paused, looking for the right words, “thank you for rescuing me. I know that it must have been hard going back to a HYDRA compound, and if it hadn’t been for you and Sam, I’d still be there.”

Bucky smiled sadly, “If it hadn’t been for us you probably wouldn’t have gotten so tangled up in this. It was the least we could do.” 

  
“Trust me,” you said, “I was tangled up in this way before I bumped into you. Alicia was my roommate, and,” your voice cracked, “my best friend. Or at least I thought she was.”

“Hey, it’s alright, basically everyone here has been betrayed by someone at some point. Just ask Thor how many times his brother faked his death. And,” Bucky hesitated, not sure if he should press the issue, “should you be looking for a new friend, I’m just a few doors away.” 

You smiled, “Thank you-”. Before you could finish your sentence the power in the elevator went out, and you felt yourself falling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like things may go well for reader and Bucky. She seems to really be ~falling~ for him. Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	11. Chapter 11

You screamed as the elevator dropped, the world outside seemingly crashing down around you. The force of the fall propelling you backwards, you careened towards the glass wall. Squeezing your eyes shut, you braced yourself for impact. Just a moment before you fell through the glass a steady hand grabbed your wrist. 

“I’ve got you doll,” Bucky pulled you close to him. Your forehead pressed against his shoulder as you tried to take some deep breaths. The elevator continued to drop and Bucky wrapped his arms around you to shelter you from the crash. As you neared the ground, the elevator stopped suddenly and the doors slid open. 

The elevator was stuck between two floors, and the opening seemed to be shrinking. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. The elevator hasn’t fully stopped, which means once we pass this floor the doors will shut again and it will fall all the way into the basement, which is farther down than you’d expect. I’m going to give you a boost and you can crawl out. Alright?”

“Wait, what about you? I can’t leave you trapped in here! There has to be another way.”

“Doll, there’s no way I’m fitting through that opening. Besides, I’ve survived a worse fall than this. But we don’t have much time and if I don’t get you out of here you might not. And I,” he paused, his voice almost a whisper, “I can’t risk losing you again.” 

“Alright,” you replied “just please, make it out?” 

He nodded in response and then lifted you through the opening. You pulled yourself up and with a little maneuvering you were on steady ground again. Not a moment after you made it out the doors snapped shut and with a sickening snapping sound the elevator plummeted again. 

As you gained your bearings you realized a blaring alarm was sounding throughout the tower. All the lights were off, except for a flashing red emergency beacon at the end of each hall. FRIDAY’s voice spoke over the din. “Prisoner containment breach. Code 10-A. Maximum security.” The words were repeated several times and you finally realized what they meant. Alicia was gone. Then only one thought remained. You had to get to Bucky. 

Racing down the hall you found a set of stairs leading down. Pushing the door open, you ran as quickly as you could to the bottom of the stairs. As you were about to exit to the lobby you saw a door out of the corner of your eye. The sign next to it revealed it to lead to the basement. Remembering Bucky’s words, you tried to pull the door open but it wouldn’t budge. Swiftly undoing your hair you pulled out two hairpins and jammed them into the lock. Twisting them around took a minute, but finally they pushed the cylinders into place, and the lock opened with a satisfying click.

  
As you opened the door and began running again you said a silent prayer of thanks for the alcoholic foster parents that always locked you out. You finally made it down to the bottom of the staircase, only to be greeted by winding catacombs of record shelves and long-forgotten motheaten papers. 

Compared to the rest of the tower, the basement was shockingly not up to date. The sirens and flashing lights were left behind at the end of the stairway. Here, your way was lit only by a flickering fluorescent bulb that clearly needed replacing.

A cloud of grimy dust rose from a far corner of the room and your heart skipped a beat. You walked through the messy labyrinth and longed for more light. Sparing a glance at your hands, you paused. You closed your eyes and held your breath as the fire came to you. It was lighter, gentler than the roaring flames in the video Alicia had shown you. It was reminiscent of a warm candle on a cold winter’s night. 

But still, looking at it flooded your memory with the horrors of what you had done. Your heart felt heavy and shame flooded your senses. The flame in your hand flickered and you stumbled, catching yourself at the last second. An aching began in your ribs and you cried out. Gasping in pain, you tried to think of what could have caused it. The shattered glass from the elevators window left several cuts along your skin but that was the full extent of your injuries. 

Finding the source of the pain was a problem for another time, however. You picked yourself back up and sped quickly to where the dust was coming from. Reaching the scene you cursed under your breath. 

The elevator shaft lie in shambles, a heap of loose wires and bits of metal. You called out, “Bucky? Can you hear me?” No response. You tried again, this time with some success. A low mumbling came from the pile and some of the wreckage seemed to move. Out of the corner of your eye a piece of metal moved. Upon closer inspection you saw it was Bucky’s arm, partially obscured under some of the debris. 

You approached the wreck, carefully stepping over some sparking wires. “Bucky, it’s me. I’m here, don’t worry.”

A mumbled “Doll…” came from under the pile and your heart broke. 

“I’m here. Just hang on.” You tried to lift the metal sheet but it was covered by tiny shards of glass. Cursing, you ignored the cuts appearing and tried again. The metal budged, but not enough. You noticed a pole a few feet away and grabbed it. Planning to use it as leverage, you carefully wedged it under a slanted part of the metal and pushed down. It shifted downwards, and with all your strength you pushed it off. 

You had to hold back a gasp when you saw him. Crimson blood pooled near his head, matting his hair. He had bruises forming on his other arm, which gently cradled what you assumed to be broken ribs. 

“Oh my God, Bucky-”

He cut you off. “I’m alright, doll. Just help me out of here.” He struggled to sit up, and you stopped him.  
  


“No, Bucky, you need a medic, I’ll go get help.”  
  


“Listen, whatever happened to us must have affected the whole tower. Let me guess, there were sirens blaring when you got out of the elevator?”  
  


“Yes,” you sighed, “but there has to be someone who can help you.”  
  


“I think I’m well enough to go up a flight of stairs. It’ll be fine.”

You gently grabbed his hand and helped him stand. The only way out would be through the maze of a way in. You couldn’t risk trying to find a shortcut and end up getting lost. 

“Alright, here’s what we’ll do. You need to step over this wire here, but be careful, it was sparking just a few minutes ago.” Before the words even left your mouth the wire sparked back to life and a blaze encircled you both.” 

“Doll, now would be a real good time to use those powers of yours.” 

“I can try, but I-”  
  


“Look at me,” Bucky said, “you are our only way out of here. It’s a cruel twist of fate that you have to do this right now, but you have to. Otherwise those sparks will catch all this junk on fire, and we’ll go up in smoke with it.”

Closing your eyes you felt the flames near you and reached out to them. There was a connection, a spark if you will, and with one thought the flames went out.  
  
“I knew you could do it. Now let’s go before they start again, okay?”  
  


You nodded, still feeling the connection in the back of your mind. Fear laced itself through you. If putting that fire out was so easy, starting one would be even easier. You could feel Bucky’s hand on your arm as you led him through the basement. You cared about him, which made him an already bigger target than before. 

Your mind raced with worst case scenarios. If HYDRA was able to brainwash you before, what if they did it again? What if they made you hurt him? Or even worse, what if you hurt him while you were yourself.

“Hey, I know that look. You’re overthinking things, aren’t you?” 

“I’m scared, Bucky. I can’t hurt anyone anymore,” you whispered, “I can’t hurt you.”

“Listen doll,” you looked up, surprised he had heard you, “sometimes things don’t go the way we plan. Sometimes people get hurt- or killed- because of the things we do. Willingly or unwillingly.

That’s part of the risk of all of this. When you have powers, and you can do things that no one else can do, there’s always a risk. It can be hard to come to terms with. HYDRA brainwashed me for so long, and it took me a while to separate the actions of the Winter Soldier from my own.”  
  


“But my parents-”

  
“You were young, you had no real control over what your powers or any real idea of what they could do. Looking at you now, what you did back there, that shows your control.” He looked into your eyes, and you knew he meant it. 

“You’re right,” you replied, as you reached the top of the stairs. “Thank you, truly.”  
  


“Hey, I couldn’t let you wallow in self-pity forever, could I?” he smirked.

You laughed, “No, I guess you couldn’t. Now please see a medic. You’ve definitely received some sort of head trauma.” As you pushed open the basement door you flinched. 

A look of concern flashed across Bucky’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s my ribs. They were hurting earlier. I’m sure it’s nothing.” Bucky glared at you. “Fine I’ll give it a look.” Very carefully you lifted the hem of your shirt to reveal a dark bruise forming around a freshly inked tattoo. 

“You didn’t happen to get some new ink before any of this happened, did you?” 

You shook your head ‘no’. Alicia must’ve done this. The tattoo was a detailed phoenix with flames surrounding it.

  
“How symbolic,” Bucky scoffed, “on the bright side Stark has a tattoo remover here at the tower. Too many drunken mistakes, I guess.”

  
You thought about it for a moment before answering, “No, I think I might keep it.”

  
“Are you sure?” he questioned, “It will only serve as a reminder of what happened.”

“They may have branded a phoenix, but I get to choose what ashes I’m rising from.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since many of you celebrate Easter tomorrow I decided to post a day early! From now on, though, I’ve decided to make Sunday my official update day, and if I have time to write there may be an extra update during the week! Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	12. Chapter 12

When you finally emerged from the basement, the tower was in chaos. The whole building was in lockdown and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were in a frenzy. Tony greeted you both at the stairs.

  
“Well, glad to see you both well after that little, what would PR call it? ‘Elevator incident.’ I suppose Barnes will need to see a medic, but hotshot we need you upstairs. The rest of the team is meeting to discuss what happened. I know you aren’t sure if you’re joining yet, but they need a briefing on Alicia. Tell them everything you know.” He turned to walk away but paused, “And tell Rogers to dig up any old HYDRA files we have. After what happened here, we’ll need them,” 

Bucky turned to you, “The meeting room is three floors up. I can show you the way there, if you want.”  
  


“I think I’ll be able to find my way, besides you need to wait here for the medic.”  
  


“Alright then,” he smirked, “I’ll see later, phoenix.”

Making your way upstairs you started to regret your decision of refusing Bucky’s escort. You were about to meet the Avengers, by yourself nonetheless, and you looked like you’d been through hell. To be fair, you basically had, but they didn’t need to know that. 

Heart pounding you stepped into the conference room. You saw Sam and instantly felt a little bit better. At least you weren’t completely alone. The team sat at a table, debating something heatedly. The moment you walked in, however, they all stopped and turned to you. 

“Uh, hi.” Just great, your mind decided to skip town at the worst possible moment. “I’m Y/N, Tony told me to come here and brief you guys on Alicia.”

Thor smiled encouragingly, “Yes, her escape has us all baffled.”  
  


“We believe that HYDRA got their hands on a blueprint of the tower before their infiltration was discovered.” Steve chimed in.

“Although Tony is constantly modifying things,” Rhodey countered, “which means we may still have some moles.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Or boys, the most likely option of all. They hacked into our servers and turned off the power, giving some of their agents time to sneak in, break Alicia out, and cut a few elevator cables too.” 

“Now I may not be an expert on Midgardian technology, but I thought Stark’s computers were fully secured?” Thor questioned.

Steve responded, “They should be, but HYDRA has some tech specialists. One of their scientists had his entire consciousness uploaded onto a computer database.”

“You should have seen it,” chuckled Natasha, “extremely creepy.”

“So we’re just going to assume that since they can make a guy into a robot that they can get past Stark’s firewall?” Rhodey scoffed.

Soon they began arguing again, which seemed to go on for ages. Your mind reeled trying to keep up with the conversation. Finally Bruce Banner cut in, “Well, Y/N is here, maybe she can inform us on what Alicia is most likely to do.”

Sam nodded at you. You could do this. “Well, with me, she played more of the long game. She pretended to be my best friend all throughout college. So, for almost six years now. Uh, we were majoring in law so it was supposed to be eight years instead of the regular four. But HYDRA wasn’t very secretive about the murder of former double agents. They used very obvious poisons, ones that were just discussed in the biology course Alicia and I take. Well, used to take, I guess.”

“I don’t understand.” Wanda said, “Why would they use something so obvious? Isn’t flying under the radar like their whole thing?”  
  


“We aren’t sure yet, but I’ve been thinking about it and it may be a way of them taunting S.H.I.E.LD. If I learned one thing, it’s that Alicia loves a spectacle.”

Bucky walked into the room, his ribs bandaged and some fresh stitches on his forehead, but looking much better than before. “Well if she wants a spectacle,” he said, “why don’t we give it to her.”

“I know you probably just got concussed,” Sam said, “but what the hell are you talking about dude?”

“In the infirmary I spoke with an agent who was knocked out by some HYDRA thugs. He said one of them he had seen around for a week or so. But the other two he had never seen before. They probably had a few moles in here to learn how to hack into the power supply and then sneak in some more when the power was out.”  
  


“But how would they know that Alicia would be captured?” Natasha questioned.

“They didn’t.” Bucky replied, “That threw a wrench in their plans.” He stepped next to you, “So did Y/N here, which is why they tried to dispose of us both with the elevator stunt. That didn’t work so well though, considering we’re both still here.”

“So what do you suggest we do?” Steve asked.

“The agent gave me a location, where they might be taking her. S.H.I.E.L.D has apparently been scoping the place out?”

“How do we know that this is legitimate information?” Tony asked, entering the room.

“Well we don’t, not yet. But we can reconfirm with Fury.”  
  
“Sure, I’ll give him a ring. He just loves my calls.” Tony said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Considering you skipped the meeting Tony,” Steve glared, “you can do this one thing. Unless, of course, you want to be searching for her for another few months, and let more good agents get killed. No? Then I strongly suggest you give Fury a call.” Steve stood up and glanced at you, “Speaking of, Y/N here knows some more about the murders, so you may want to look over her uh, biology notes. They may contain the next poison to be used.” With that, he left the room.

You glanced awkwardly around the room, waiting for someone to speak next. When no one did, you cleared your throat and said, “I have the notes in my bag, if they’d be helpful.” 

“They should be in your room, we can go get them now.” Bucky said reassuringly.

The two of you exited the conference room, and you felt a sigh of relief wash over you. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel safe around the Avengers, you did, but you were terrified of saying the wrong thing and making a fool of yourself.

“That went well,” Bucky said, but you weren’t entirely convinced. “No, really, they actually listened to what you had to say. It took them awhile before they truly paid attention to what I told them.”

“Thank you, and thank you for getting me out of there.”

“Well, to be fair, we _do_ need to get those notes, and you looked like you needed a breath of fresh air.” 

You nodded. “I did, to be honest. It’s a lot of pressure. But,” you paused, and glanced down, “that won’t stop me from joining. After all of this, I don’t think that a future in law is for me. Going back to college isn’t a possibility. I think my future is here.”  
  


Bucky broke into a grin, “I’m glad. We need you here.” Under his breath, he muttered something, but you couldn’t quite make it out. 

“What was that?”

“Oh nothing, just, uh, thinking. Only one more flight of stairs and we’ll be there.” Was that a slight blush on his cheeks or was it just your imagination?

Finally, you made it to a door with a security scanner next to it.  
  


Bucky cursed, “My security card was damaged in the fall. Let’s try getting in a different way. FRIDAY, requesting access?”  
  


FRIDAY responded, “Access granted. The package for Miss Y/N has been delivered to her room.”  
  


“A package?” 

Bucky glanced down, “It’s probably just your books. They had to be collected from the apartment, so they must have arrived late.” The door swung open to reveal a series of rooms, mainly in a monochromatic theme. Little bursts of color appeared throughout in the form of paintings.  
  


Walking up to one, you saw the artist’s signature and gasped. “Bucky you painted this? It’s beautiful.” 

  
He smiled shyly, “After leaving HYDRA, and having done nothing but cause pain, I wanted to be able to do something good. So I took up painting. Growing up, Steve was always the artist, I never really thought I’d be good at it,” he chuckled, “apparently I have a bit of a knack for it. Your room is down that hall there if you want to grab your notes. I’m going to get changed into some fresh clothes, but let me know if you need anything. 

You walked down the hall and saw an open door, sitting on the bed in the room were your notebooks in a neat pile. Next to them was a package wrapped neatly in plain wrapping paper. Written on it was a note, “Phoenix, just in case you decide to join the team. ~From, Bucky”. Gently unwrapping the package, you found a suit inside, with orange-red flames in spirals across it. It was beautiful.  
  


A knock came at the door. “I hope you like it. I didn’t want to assume anything about you joining, but after what you said about the tattoo I thought, well anyways. I talked with Tony before stopping by the meeting and asked him to have it made for you. If you don’t like it you could get another one-”  
  


You cut him off, “No, it’s absolutely perfect, I love it! Thank you.” You walked over to him and wrapped him in a hug. He froze for a moment before returning the gesture. 

“I can take the notes down to them, if you want. There’s a TV in the main living room, and the coffee machine is on the counter in the kitchen. You should be able to relax a little.”

You smiled, “That sounds great, thank you.” As soon as he left with the notes you sat down on the couch and turned on the television. Brooklyn-99 was already on and you smiled, the familiar show bringing you some comfort. A few episodes in, it started getting dark out and you began to doze off.

It wasn’t long after that your dreams turned dark and you woke up screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	13. Chapter 13

Bucky walked into the living room and sighed. “Sorry that took me so long, they needed more details on HYDRA-” Upon seeing you sound asleep on the couch he smiled softly and went to his room. After grabbing a light blanket off the bed he re-entered the living room and gently covered you with it. He turned off the television, which had still been playing Brooklyn-99 and went to bed.

Not five minutes after he climbed into bed he heard a shrill scream come from the living room. Heart pounding he ran to the room, expecting the worst, only to find you sitting up on the couch, a few tears running down your face. 

“Doll, what is it? What’s wrong?” 

“Oh, Bucky, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you I just-”

“Had a nightmare?” He guessed, 

“Yes, I’m fine, though. It’s not a big deal.”

“Are you sure? After my time with HYDRA I had horrible nightmares, and one of the only things that helped was talking it out.”

“I don’t want to bother you, it’s late and-” 

“It’s not too late, and I don’t mind at all.” 

“I was her, Elaine Berlioz, the agent that I killed,” your voice shook as you spoke, “and I could feel the fire, the heat, it was as if I was facing some divine punishment for what I did by experiencing it.”

“One of the things HYDRA does is make you feel guilty for what happened. And although physically it was you who did that, it wasn’t you. What you did doesn’t define you as a person.”

“Thank you, it’s just,” you paused, “I thought I was past this. I thought, I don’t know, I guess I thought I’d be able to move on.” 

“Progress is not linear. I mean, I’ve been away from HYDRA for over a year and there are still nights where I wake up screaming. But I’ve also made a lot of progress. It isn’t as hard as it used to be, and I know you’ll make progress too. Sometimes you might fall back into negative thoughts, and that’s alright, but keep striving for a better outlook.” 

You glanced down and smiled. “I never really thought about it like that.”

He sat down on the couch next to you, “When I first came to the tower, Bruce and Natasha helped me deal with my PTSD. Not everyone was exactly welcoming at the time. They were some of the few who understood.” He paused and looked at the ground before continuing, “But after the truth of Tony’s parents was revealed, even they started to distance themselves.”

“What happened to Tony’s parents? I thought they died in a car crash.”

“That was the official story that HYDRA spread, but in reality, I was responsible. Well, the Winter Soldier was, anyways. After that was revealed, Stark wasn’t exactly thrilled with my being here. Eventually, though it was all sorted out. We aren’t the best of friends, obviously, but we don’t hate each other either, which is more than I could’ve hoped for.”

“I’m glad you told me about that, it must not be an easy thing to open up about. If it’s not too much trouble, I understand if you don’t want to, but would you be able to stay up with me and watch a movie or something? It probably doesn’t make much sense, but I don’t feel safe enough to go to sleep yet. With my anxiety I have a hard time sleeping in new environments sometimes, unless I have something to make me feel safer.” In a quiet voice you added, “Or if I have someone nearby who makes me feel safe.” 

Bucky nodded, “Of course I can stay up, I doubt I’d be able to fall asleep just yet anyways.” 

Picking up the remote you turned on the television and began watching a comedic cooking show where none of the chefs actually knew how to cook. As you were watching the show it got chillier in the room and Bucky noticed you scootch a little bit closer to him. It wasn’t long after that when you sleepily laid your head on his shoulder. Noticing you were finally asleep again Bucky tried to reach for the blanket but couldn’t get it without disturbing you. Trying the next best option he gently put his arm around your shoulders, just to keep you warm of course, no romantic feelings involved- that’s what he told himself at least. 

Soon after you snuggled in closer to him and Bucky recalled something that you’d mentioned earlier that evening. You couldn’t fall asleep if you didn’t feel safe around someone. ‘She feels safe around me,’ he thought to himself. ‘Well, that’s a first.’ 

~~~

You awoke the next morning to find Bucky in the kitchen making pancakes. You glanced over at him from your spot on the couch. “Well, look who finally decided to wake up. I’m making breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes.” 

You stood up and walked to the counter, “That sounds great, do you need any help?”

“Nah, I should be fine, thanks though.”

You smirked, “Really? Because the uh, pancake flour on your face tells a different story.”

He chuckled as he tried to wipe it off, “Okay, maybe I need just a little bit of help.” 

“Yeah, I think you do. Here, I’ve got it,” you stood on your tiptoes and before you quite realized what you were doing, you wiped the powdery mix off his cheek. It was then that you realized just how close you two were standing. Taking a step back you felt a warm blush flood your face and instantly looked down. “Sorry about that, uh-”

“It’s fine, really,” Bucky responded with a light laugh. He shook his head and headed back to the stove, trying to hide the slight butterflies he was feeling. Picking up the mixing bowl, he poured some of the mix into the pan and reached into a little basket near the fridge. Pulling out a hair tie, he quickly pulled his hair back into a cross somewhere between a ponytail and a bun. He walked back over to the counter and grabbed the bag of chocolate chips to put away.

“Wait, can I see that for a second?” He handed you the bag and you grabbed a few chocolate chips and sprinkled them onto the pancake cooking on the stove, then proceeded to put a few more in the mixing bowl. “There weren't enough chips in it,” you said with a slight smile. “My mom used to make these for breakfast, and the chocolate to pancake ratio was always perfect. Of course by that point it was basically chocolate chips with only some pancake, instead of pancakes with chocolate chips, but hey, they were good.” 

“Well, that sounds delicious,” Bucky said with a smile. “I won’t tell Steve if you don’t.” 

“Well, looks like we have a deal. And if he does find out, just let him know that at least now you didn’t have to add brown sugar to it.” 

“Brown sugar?” he asked. “Do you like, cook it in with the pancake or-?”

“I mean, I suppose you could, but whenever I have plain pancakes I sprinkle some brown sugar on top of it with the syrup, and it always tastes delicious. You’ve never had that?”

“Well, no, growing up we didn’t really add much ‘flavor’ to food, and I never thought to try it once I got back.” 

“You literally live in the Avenger’s tower and never thought of it? Well, I’ll need to have a talk with Tony about the tower’s food plan if I’m going to stay on the team,” you joked. “Oh, look that one’s ready!” 

Bucky flipped the pancake and sure enough, it was a perfect golden-brown with melted chocolate chips scattered throughout. 

“You can have the first one,” Bucky offered, “after all, it is your recipe.”

Smiling, you accepted the plate and took a bite, and just as you thought, it was incredible. “It’s just like I remember,” you said, a soft smile playing on your lips and you thought about the last time you had these pancakes with your family. 

It had been a bright June morning, and you woke up extra early to watch the Saturday morning cartoons. You heard your parents talking in hushed tones in the next room, but you were too engrossed in the episode of Looney Toons playing to pay much attention to their conversation. After the show ended you went to the kitchen and got out the pancake mix, but when you tried to pour it yourself the powder spilled all over you. Your parents came to the rescue, though, and soon enough you had an extra-chocolatey chip pancake in front of you to make up for all the Bisquick mix in your hair. 

“These are delicious,” Bucky said, snapping you out of your thoughts. Then, changing the subject he asked, “Do you remember them? Your parents, I mean.” 

“Uh, bits and pieces. Some memories are crystal clear and others seemes, I don’t know, warped almost. Maybe it’s for the best, it isn’t good to dwell on what could’ve been.” You chuckled, “I mean, that’s what my therapist told me anyways, but for all I know he may have been working for HYDRA, so maybe his advice isn’t the best.” 

“Memories can be a tricky thing,” Bucky admitted with a laugh, “half the time Sam will say I did something as the Winter Soldier and I honestly don’t know if I did. Like last week he said I slashed his car tires, and I don’t think I did, but who am I to say? Oh, I almost forgot!” he exclaimed, “Steve said that Natasha wanted to start your training today. We should head down to the gym, best not to keep her waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a head’s up, the next update might be a bit short as my birthday is this week so I might not have much time to write! Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	14. Chapter 14

Walking into the tower’s training center, you took one look around the room and immediately died a little. The equipment was state of the art, and although you hadn’t expected anything less from the billionaire, it was still incredibly daunting. 

Natasha stood in the center of the room, looking right at home. ‘In some other life she probably could have done an extreme sport,’ you thought to yourself. The image of Black Widow competing on Wipeout popped into your head and you had to stifle a laugh. 

“Well, I‘m glad you two were able to make it to the gym so early,” she said sarcastically, then noticing the slight chocolate smear on your cheek she questioned, “leisurely morning?” 

You blushed and tried to get it, but kept missing it slightly. Without thinking Bucky wiped it off for you. Natasha raised her eyebrows at the gesture but said nothing. 

“So I looked into it and found out your college had a gym, how often did you use it?”  
  


“Wait we had a gym?” 

  
“So I’ll take that as a ‘never’,” she replied with a smirk. “Your powers can do alot of things, and are great for battle, but if you’re ever in a situation where you can’t safely use them, you have to be able to fight your way out. Do you know how to fight?”

“Well, I picked a few things up in some of my old foster homes,” you briefly made eye contact with Bucky before continuing, “considering most of them were secretly HYDRA operatives, you could say I didn’t always have the best experience.” 

“Alright, show me what you’ve got.” She motioned you to step forward, and you did. What you didn’t expect however, was for her to swing at you the moment you did. Dodging it at the last second, she looked at you and said, “Rule number one, _always_ expect the enemy to fight dirty.”

“Especially when that enemy is an ex-Soviet spy trying to teach you how to fight,” Bucky said with a laugh. 

“Very funny Barnes,” she responded. As soon as the words left her mouth a punch was delivered right to your ribs. “Rule number two, don’t let anything, or anyone,” she glanced at Bucky, “distract you.”

Groaning in pain you cursed, “What the hell, did you two have that planned out?”

“Maybe,” Bucky responded with a laugh, “but at least now you’ve learned that lesson.”

“Now it’s time for the _real_ training to begin,” Natasha stated matter-of-factly. You only sighed in response.

By the time your training session was over, you felt about ready to collapse. Bucky had to leave about halfway through and left you in the care of Nat, if care was what you wanted to call it. For some strange reason though, you were glad he wasn’t there to see how badly it went at the end. 

“Hey, take it easy on yourself. Not everyone is able to make it through even ten minutes of that training, let alone almost a whole hour.” 

“Maybe not everyone can, but all the Avengers can, and they can do it without almost dying in the process.” 

“Yes,” Natasha countered, “but we’ve all been trained, or some of us have, as Thor calls it, ‘natural talent.’ You, on the other hand, are a college student who hasn't worked out in what, almost two years? I can’t help but wonder if HYDRA gave you some of that ‘natural talent’ that Steve and Bucky have.” 

“Are you talking about superserum? No, I doubt that’s possible, I’d feel different, wouldn’t I?”  
  


“Nobody knew Bucky was a super soldier until he fell from the train, not even himself. I think it’s worth considering the possibility, especially if they wanted you to be their new ‘soldat’.” 

You thought about it for a moment, not completely ruling out the possibility, but still not ready to accept it. “Well, you might be right, but I’m still not convinced.” 

“Only time will tell it seems. Now one thing that I _am_ curious about is that little moment earlier.” 

“What moment?” Your mind reeled as you tried to recall everything that happened since you walked into the gym.

“Oh come on, that moment you had with Barnes earlier?”

You blushed as the memory came back to you. “Oh, yeah, that. It was nothing, really.”

“Oh, really?” Natasha asked incredulously. “In all my time knowing him, I’ve never seen him act so openly around anyone like he did just then. You two must have really hit it off.”

“Well, I guess after everything we’ve been through together we became pretty good friends.” You looked over at the door as it swung open and Tony walked in.

“‘Friends’ is one word for it,” Natasha replied with a smirk. “Well, look who’s at the gym for once. Lose your way going to the garage?” She said with a laugh.

“Oh very funny, but some of us are able to fight without constantly working out Miss Trained Assassin. Hot head, you’re needed upstairs. There’s a potential lead Barnes needs to brief you about.” 

Natasha nodded at you as you left the room “Good job today, rookie.” 

Walking back towards the conference room your mind was a flurry of activity. What if Nat was right and you had been given super serum? Was it permanent? If it was, what would happen to your life? It clearly happened recently, if you had superhuman powers your whole life you would have noticed. Right? 

The door was ajar as you approached, and you heard whispered voices coming from the conference room. Holding your breath, you stayed close to the wall trying to overhear the conversation going on inside. 

“I know you think this could be planted information, Director Fury, which is why I think you should send some agents to scope it out first. She isn’t ready yet.”  
  


“Sergeant Barnes, you yourself said that she excelled in her training today. My agents, although very good at retrieving information, cannot summon fire from their hands to protect themselves. If HYDRA detects a leak-”

“You think _I_ don’t know the torture methods they’re capable of?” Bucky retorted, his tone threatening. “I know what they can do, and so do you. So if you think I’m going to let you send her back into harm’s way, when you have others who are fully capable of doing the job, you’re wrong.”

“You are not in a position to tell me who I can ‘let’ do something.” Fury countered. “Do not let your emotions cloud your judgement. Having a schoolyard crush doesn’t give you the right to dictate missions to me. She is the best prepared for this, having known the target for a considerable length of time. If it would make you feel better, you can accompany her to the base. End of discussion.” 

The sound of advancing footsteps on the tile flooring scared you out of your spot, so you quietly tiptoed down the hall as fast as you could, then turned around to make it seem as though you were just arriving. As you re-entered the corridor leading to the conference room, Director Fury exited the room and started walking towards you. 

“Ah, Miss 'Phoenix’, just the person I wanted to see.” For a moment your blood ran cold as you wondered if he knew you listened in on the conversation. Your fears were eased, however, as he continued. “I was hoping that you would be the one to investigate the possible HYDRA facility Barnes mentioned earlier. I feel as though someone with your close history to the target would have an easier time apprehending her. Again.” 

“I don’t know if that makes me qualified enough for this assignment, sir.” Trying to sound oblivious to the conversation, you then added, “I don’t think that going alone would be the best option.”

“Sergeant Barnes would accompany you to this base. It’s a hub of HYDRA activity. I should warn you, however, some of my sources scouted the place from a far, and it could very well be a trap.”

“Could I have some time to think it over? This doesn’t seem like a decision I should make lightly.

“Of course, just don’t speak about it with Barnes. Something tells me he isn’t exactly thrilled with the idea, and I don’t need him causing any additional problems for this mission.”

“Yes, sir,” you nodded, hoping you would gain his trust.

  
He took a card out of his wallet and handed it to you. “When you reach a decision, give me a call.” You reached for the card but before you could grab it he pulled it back. “Do not give anyone else this card, I don’t give everyone my personal number.” He then extended his business card again and let you take it this time. As he turned and walked away, you started back on your path to the conference room. You had to talk to Bucky.

When you re-entered the conference room, you had to double check that you were in the right place. The room seemed much more spacious now that a dozen superheroes weren’t seated at the table in the center of the room. Natural light glinted off the glass tabletop, and modern art, most likely curated by Pepper Potts, hung from the walls. 

Bucky sat in an overstuffed armchair in the far corner of the room, staring at a painting, oblivious to you walking in. He looked conflicted, and your mind darted back to the argument you overheard. Just how much of it had you missed? 

You cleared your throat and he looked up. “Oh, hey doll. Sorry, I must not have heard you walk in. I was a bit lost in my thoughts,” he said with a smile. 

“I just talked with Director Fury,” you said, walking over and taking a seat on the armchair next to his. “He said that the mission might be a setup.”

“It very well might be, and that’s why it might not be the wisest thing for you to go. You haven’t been training for that long, and if you got hurt or if they captured you again, I don’t know,” he trailed off and you couldn’t capture the end of his sentence. 

Still yet, you countered, “I have extraordinary powers, and I know Alicia better than any operative SHIELD has. I can’t let good people risk their lives in my place. I heard your, uh, conversation with Fury. I know you don’t think it’s wise, but it’s what I have to do.

“How did I know you would say that? Alright, fine, but if you do go, I’m going with you. No objections.”

You smiled, “Deal.”

  
“ _And,_ ” he continued, “you need to train with your powers first. I know that you know how to use them, but you need to practice some more. I don’t want you getting hurt. Deal?” 

“Alright, fine,” you sighed, “we have a deal.” You took out your phone and dialed the number Fury gave you. “Hello Director Fury, I’ve decided to accept the mission.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do be adding more romantic subtext though :0 Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	15. Chapter 15

Agreeing to the terms Bucky had set, you met with Wanda later that same day. Having both the powers and history that most closely reflected yours, she was selected to help you train. You went back to the training room, but when you returned most of the equipment had been pushed to the side and in its place were several flammable objects, and somewhat reassuringly, a fire extinguisher.

Arriving before Wanda did, you had a chance to fully scope out the gym. One thing you picked up in your training with Natasha was to always find the closest exit. That way if your position was somehow compromised, you could get out as quickly as possible. The gym had two exits, one was the main door and the other was a fire exit that led to the stairs. All the floors in the tower had stairs in case of an emergency. For that you were grateful, because it would be awhile before you took an elevator again. 

You heard the door open behind you and saw Wanda enter the training room. “Hi, Y/N, I’m Wanda. I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced yet,” she said with a smile. Immediately you felt drawn to her, and returned the smile. “So, I was told I’m here to help you with your powers. Something about a dangerous mission?” she questioned with a chuckle. 

“Something like that, yes.”

“Well then we’d better get started. I’m not a pyrokinetic but I can mentally manipulate things, so I could give you some pointers. Can you make those wires there start sparking?” 

You closed your eyes and pictured the wires sparking to life and starting a small fire. A minute later you heard the quiet crackle of flames and knew you were successful. 

“Good, but you’ll need to be quicker, if you’re in a battle and need a fire, the enemy won’t wait for you to get it started. Put it out, and try again, faster this time.” 

You closed your eyes and pictured the fire going out, and it did immediately. You then tried to reignite it, but it still took some time.

“Have you tried to do it with your eyes open?” Wanda questioned.

“Uh, no, I guess having my eyes closed just felt right, but I can try.” Staring directly at the fire, you told it to go out and it did. Then, you told it to ignite with a large spark, and instantly it did.   
  


“Very good,” Wanda smiled. “I think you might have your new strategy. Now make everything catch on fire.”   


“Are you sure? If I can’t put it out-”

“We have the fire extinguisher here for a reason.” 

You took one look at the flammable items in front of you and commanded them to ignite. They did, and before you knew it, there was a great blazing inferno in front of you. Then, as quickly as the blaze started, you put it out. 

Wanda had you repeat the exercise a few times to get it down to an exact science but then she said, “That was perfect! Now, I did hear you were able to set not just things on fire, but yourself too. Or is that just a rumor?”   


“Nope,” you smiled, “it’s true.” In the blink of an eye, you felt heat spread over you, and Wanda beamed.    


“I knew you could do it, that’s incredible!” She paused for a moment to think, then asked, “Have you tried using the fire to make yourself fly? I don’t know if it would work, but since heat rises, maybe you could make it lift you off the ground?”

“I mean, it might work?” You were uncertain, but eager to try. Sending a mental message to the flames surrounding you, you soon felt them begin to lift you up. “Oh my God,” you exclaimed, “I’m actually flying.” Coming back down to the ground, you put out the flames. 

“We might only be scratching the surface of what your powers can do,” Wanda said, “but what you did here should be more than enough for your mission.” 

“Thank you so much!” You knew for sure now that Bucky would be more at ease with you going on the mission.

  
“Oh, before you go, Natasha told me that there’s a possibility that you may have been given the serum?”   


“Well that’s what she believes,” you said, trying to make your disbelief clear, “but personally I think I would know if I was given some kind of superhuman powers.”   


“You didn’t know about the pyrokinesis until recently though, and you had that your whole life, so there is a possibility. Stark developed a test for it, I just have to get a little sample of your blood.”   


“Is there any other way? I’m not big on needles, not after what happened before.” You shivered as you recalled being injected and falling under HYDRA’s mind control.

“There isn’t any alternative, I’m sorry,” Wanda replied, sounding genuinely concerned. “It’s just a small needle though, and then we’ll know for sure about your superhuman status,” she said good naturedly.

You flinched as the needle pricked the skin on your forearm, which was still slightly sore from your training with Natasha. 

Wanda then took the blood sample and put it in a test tube filled with a bubbling liquid and mixed it carefully. “You know before all of this, I wanted to be a chemist. Growing up, I would help my mother cook. Perfecting recipes was kind of like balancing chemical reactions. It won’t happen now, but sometimes Bruce lets me use his lab to conduct experiments.” She wore a sad smile on her face, and it made you feel sorry for the girl who lost herself in all this mess. “Well, Stark said when this is done reacting it will turn either green or purple. If it’s green, then you’ve been given the serum.” 

You felt dread creep over you as you waited for the reaction to end, and finally it did. Except it wasn’t purple like you expected. It was green. Stumbling backwards, you felt panic seize you, This wasn’t possible. This couldn’t be possible. Just a week ago you were a normal college student. Now what are you? Some kind of pyrokinetic super soldier? No, it had to be some kind of twisted dream. Sitting down near the treadmill you squeezed your eyes shut. You pinched the skin on your wrist, but nothing happened. “This can’t be real, this isn’t real,” you whispered to yourself.

“Maybe try saying ‘There’s no place like home?” Wanda suggested as she sat down next to you. “Hey, it worked for Dorothy.” 

“I thought, maybe, even if I was an Avenger, I could have some kind of normalcy. Maybe settle down with someone, live a regular life.”   


“Clint has something like that, he has a wife and kids, and a place out in the country. You could too.”   


“Not if I’m going to live to be, I don’t know, what, a hundred and fifty?”

She looked genuinely puzzled for a moment and asked, “Oh, so you and Bucky aren’t together then?”

“No, we aren’t, why does everyone keep asking me that?” You blushed, but couldn’t quite place why that made you feel flustered. “But I should probably go let him know what happened. Thank you for everything, Wanda.”   


She nodded, “Of course, and if you ever want to practice with your powers again, just let me know.”   


“Thank you, I will.” You walked out of the room and felt the tightness in your chest building again. You made it around the corner and the stairway before breaking down. Tears streaked your face as you felt everything you knew starting to slip from your grasp. Sitting down on the steps you put your head in your hands and began to sob.    


You should have been excited. People would kill for a dose of that serum, and that just made you feel worse. To be honest, you thought it was a bit exciting, but you mainly felt the loss. You never really thought about your future other than wanting to complete law school, maybe start your own firm. But now, with basically all options taken from you, the only thing you could think about was what could have been. Soon after, your mind started to shut off and you passed out on the stairs.

Bucky was heading down to the gym to check on your training session when he saw you lying on the steps, completely unconscious. “Doll? Hey doll?” He gently propped you up against the wall. “Come on, doll. Stay with me, it’ll be alright, I’m here.” Stirring slightly, you began to open your eyes.    


“Bucky? Where am I?”   


“In the stairway, you must have passed out.” His voice was laced with concern, “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s nothing, it’s silly, I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up.” You didn’t want him to know you had gotten upset about the serum.    


“If something caused you to completely pass out in the middle of a stairway, it’s not nothing.”   


You took a deep breath and then blurted out “HYDRA injected me with superserum.”

“How do you know?” 

“Natasha had a feeling about it this morning, so Tony developed a test that Wanda administered. I know I should feel excited but I just feel even more different.”   


“Hey, it’s alright, doll. When I first fully realized I was given the serum I had just fallen off a train and thought I was dead. You might be more different, but that doesn’t change who you are. You’re strong, and you’re brave and you’re kind. Those are qualities that you have already, and no serum altered that.” 

You rested your head on his shoulder and he froze for a second before putting his arm around your shoulders. “We’ll be alright, phoenix. So, what did Wanda have to say about your powers?”   


“She thinks I’m ready for the mission. I can set things on fire and put it out instantaneously. I also figured out how to control the fire enough for it to make me levitate.”   


“That’s incredible, doll. But are you still sure you want to go? Fury could still send a SHIELD operative. You’ve only been an Avenger for a day.”   


“I trust myself. I may not have all the experience in the world but Wanda said my powers are strong enough for the mission. And, to be honest, it almost feels as though it’s my destiny to complete this mission. Alicia lied to me for years, pretended to be my friend. Who knows how much of my life she shaped? I _have_ to be the one to bring her in. For good this time.”   


“If you trust yourself, I trust you too. Fury got a lead on the murderer, by the way. He wants to brief us on that before we leave in the morning.” 

“Do they know who it is?” A knot formed in your stomach, wondering if there were any other traitors in your life.

“They do, actually. But I don’t think you’re going to be too happy with the answer.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this midweek update! Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	16. Chapter 16

Bucky watched with a smirk as you practically screamed at Steve. Back in the conference room, the debriefing had taken a turn for the worse as the newest betrayal came to light.

“What do you mean the murderer was my biology teacher?” You paused your rant for a second, considering some new angle. “That would explain why he always seemed to secretly hate me. And why he was always acting so strangely when talking about the poisons, almost like he had first hand experience.”

“Because he did,” Steve replied. He was sitting at the head of the table, folders of classified files scattered across the table. Bucky and Sam were sitting in the armchairs in the corner, watching the meeting with a mix of amusement and slight concern. You sat to Steve’s right and directly across from you was Natasha. 

The rest of the team was absent, as Fury wanted to keep the details between as few people as possible. However the most notable absence was the SHIELD director himself, apparently deciding that sending in the files was enough and his presence wasn’t needed. However at the rate this meeting was going, Bucky wondered if maybe it’d be better if Fury was there. 

Finally you seemed to come to terms with the betrayal of your teacher, and picked up one of the folders. “So, how do we take him down? It’s not like we can just report him to the teacher’s union.” 

Bucky spoke up, “There’s a very good chance he’ll be at the base. It’s a weekend, so he won’t have any lectures. The main thing to know about HYDRA is that it’s almost like a cult. They don’t stray too far from their own when it can be avoided.” 

“Two birds, one stone,” Sam said. “If you can get to him while at the facility then that’d be great.” He chuckled wryly, “Although we wouldn’t want Alicia to slip from us again so do what you can.” 

“The mission will be difficult,” Steve warned. “This could very well be a trap, and you need to be prepared for the worst.” Bucky cast a quick glance in your direction that went unmet, although he wasn’t sure if you didn’t notice or were purposely avoiding it. 

“I don’t think it will be that bad,” Sam said, “but then again, something always seems to go sideways. So maybe keep an extra eye out.” 

Natasha, who hadn’t spoken much during the meeting chimed in, “I did some digging on the mad professor, and I want to warn you, he’s capable of some nasty stuff. Mental infiltration, hypnosis, torture. You name it, he’s done it.” Bucky thought back to the lab at the old base and the suspicious blood stains on the floor. He shivered, glad he and Sam had broken you out before anything truly horrible happened. 

You looked at Natasha quizzically, “So are you suggesting we bring him in or leave him be for now?” 

“It seems that bringing him in would be best, but if it puts either of you at risk, leave him be. Our main objective is Alicia. You should probably head to bed now, you’ll be leaving first thing in the morning. Sam, Steve and I will leave with you but stay in a rented hotel room nearby. That way you’ll have backup if necessary, but we won’t be full on storming a HYDRA base. Hopefully that will allow you to sneak in under the radar.” 

After the meeting officially ended you and Bucky headed up to his floor, a tense silence between the two of you filling the space. He still wasn’t thrilled with your decision to go, and after hearing about the biology teacher’s track record, he was even less certain. But still, he supported you, and he’d rather go with you than have you going off and putting yourself in harm’s way alone. 

When you reached the door, you finally spoke, “Hey, Bucky?”

  
“Yeah doll?” He glanced over at you before getting out his access card. Realizing it was still broken he cursed, “FRIDAY, requesting access.”   
  


“Access granted,” the automated voice replied as the door clicked open.

“Would it be possible,” you looked down, feeling nervous about your request. “You know what, nevermind, it’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” he assured you, “what is it?”

You hesitated, but pressed on, “Would you want to stay up a little bit and watch some dumb cooking shows? I’m not really tired and it might help, if not that’s alright. I’ll be fine.” 

He smiled, “To be honest, I was going to ask you if you wanted to do the same thing.” Soon enough, you were sitting on the couch laughing at some idiot who had no idea how to bake some exotic French pastry. Neither of you did either, but that didn’t matter. After a little while you both started feeling a little drowsy and fell asleep on the couch next to each other for the second night in a row.

~~~

You awoke the next morning to the alarm on your phone blaring. Slightly disoriented you tried to get off the couch to turn it off, but found yourself unable to move. As you gained awareness of your surroundings you realized that Bucky had fallen asleep next to you and during the night you two somehow became a tangled mess. Your right leg was asleep and Bucky’s metal arm was draped over your shoulders, preventing you from getting up. You felt safe, but the ringing alarm forced you to try and get up.

Your shifting caused Bucky to start to stir, and you immediately felt self conscious. Thinking you had finally wriggled your way out without disturbing him, you turned off the alarm. However as you headed to the kitchen a voice came from the couch, “Really? Not even a good morning?”

Feeling a blush creep over your face, you responded with a light chuckle, to hide how flustered you felt. “Good morning, Bucky.” 

He got up from the couch and joined you in the kitchen, “Are you ready for today?”

“I think so. But please don’t say ‘it’s not too late to back out,’ because you and I both know it is.”

“Alright, I won’t.” He smiled, glancing over at you, and you met his eyes. It hadn’t been that long since you first collided with him on campus but it felt like you had known each other for ages. Who would have thought that encounter would change the course of, well, everything.

Bucky took a breath, looking a bit nervous before continuing “I just wanted to say, Steve was right when he said this mission could be very dangerous. I’m not trying to change your mind about any of this, don’t worry.” He put his hand on yours and your heart almost lept out of your chest, “But, if anything happens while we’re there, if anything happened to you,” he paused and shook his head, “I mean, what I’m trying to say is I think I-”

His sentence was cut off by the door opening, and both Sam and Natasha standing in the doorway. 

“We don’t have time to eat breakfast here,” Nat said, “you can grab something on the Quinjet.”

Sam gave you and Bucky a look but only said, “You might want to wear something besides pajamas. So, uh, suit up.” You quickly walked back to your room, mind buzzing with what Bucky might have been trying to say to you. 

As soon as the door closed behind you, you leaned against it, covering your face with your hands. You had no idea how this would go and it filled you with dread. Walking over to your dresser, you picked up your bottle of anxiety meds and took two. The suit Bucky had made for you was still sitting on the bed where you had left it. Picking it up again, you looked at the breathtakingly beautiful detail work on it. You slipped out of your pajamas and put on the suit, taking a moment to admire how perfectly it fit before heading back out to the living room. 

Upon entering the room, you saw Natasha had already left, presumably to get the Quinjet ready. As soon as you entered the room Bucky looked up from his conversation with Sam, “The suit looks great, is it comfortable?” 

“It’s absolutely perfect,” you replied. For the second time that morning Sam gave the two of you a look, but again thought it better not to say anything. 

As the three of you made your way to the Quinjet, Sam said “Look at us, just like old times. And by old times I mean literally just a week ago.” 

You laughed, and felt a bit of relief knowing you weren’t going into this mission alone. Stepping onto the jet, you felt yourself fill up with awe. Something about being there just felt so, _right._ The base wasn’t that far by plane, so you settled in quickly to enjoy what peace you had left. 

Natasha flew the jet while you, Bucky, and Sam sat in the back, eating some kind of nutritional breakfast bar that tasted like cardboard while going over mission details. “You know,” Sam said, “for a billionaire, you’d think Stark would spend a bit more on this stuff.”

“He does,” Bucky replied, “these are top of the line. Unfortunately that seems to take away all the flavor.” 

After Sam had left to take some of the files up to the front for Nat, you turned to Bucky and asked, “What was it that you were going to tell me back at the tower?” 

He froze, clearly not expecting the conversation to take this turn. “How about this, I’ll tell you when we get back. This isn’t exactly the place to talk, too many people listening in,” he chuckled and nodded in Sam’s direction. 

“Hey, I do not listen in, I merely observe what’s going on around me.” Sam called from the cockpit, “just ask Nat, there’s a difference.”

“Don’t ask me,” Natasha laughed, “this is one spy who isn’t getting involved.” 

Before you knew it, the Quinjet began its descent into a clearing a few miles from the base. As soon as it landed you put a small knife into your thigh holster that Nat gifted you after your first training session. Your other weapon was a small gun, but you were mainly going to rely on your pyrokinesis to help if there was a fight. And knowing how HYDRA worked, you knew there would be.   
  


Both you and Bucky got out the Quinjet, while Nat and Sam headed on to the secured hotel where they would stay. The hike to the facility was spent in relative silence, you were trying to hype yourself up and Bucky was recalling all the information on the base. 

When it finally came into view you shivered, memories of your time spent captive racing back to you. It wouldn’t be like that this time, you assured yourself. 

Finding an open spot along the perimeter wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t impossible either. As the base clearly wasn’t as active as the other, you were able to find a hole in the barbed wire fence soon enough. Clouds loomed overhead as you headed towards the garage. 

Looking around the dilapidated lockup, Bucky stated “According to the blueprints Fury gave us, there should be a tunnel leading to the main activity hub near the garage.” 

A suspiciously placed tree stump caught your eye, and walking over, you gave it a good kick. It sprung open, revealing a ladder leading down into a tunnel. “You mean something like this?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t have any witty comments for my note this time, so I guess you could say I’m stumped. (Get it, cause the entrance is a stump…) Anyways, like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	17. Chapter 17

Bucky entered into the tunnel first, the dark hall reminiscent of the one at the other base. As you both walked along, a heavy silence filled the space. He wanted to finish the conversation from earlier, but this wasn’t the time or place for it. 

The walls were lined with the same rust colored streaks, but this time pieces of bone were also scattered along the dirt floor, making him wonder if it was used as some form of execution chamber. An odd light radiated from the end of the tunnel, giving off an almost iridescent glow. 

He could tell you were nervous, as you were unconsciously twisting your hands, something you seemed to do when you were feeling on edge. To be honest, he was too, there was a lot on the line with this mission. That paired with the possibility of you getting hurt, or worse, killed, well, it wasn’t exactly reassuring. 

Although there was a light at the end of the hall, it never quite seemed to get any closer. After about a half hour of walking, the end was finally in sight. A ladder led up to a hatch, similar to the one you entered from. Bucky climbed a few rungs and twisted the latch, which took a moment to finally turn and unlock.    


Jumping back down from where he was, he turned to face you. Realizing how small the space was and how close you two were standing he tried to take a step back, but the tunnel was too small, “Alright, we have no clue what we’re about to walk into, so you need to stay behind me. And whatever happens, if I tell you to go, you go. Understood?”   


You met his eyes, not willing to give in, “But what if-”    


He interrupted you, his voice getting dangerously low. “No what if’s. For this mission to work you need to listen to me. Understood?” 

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, the space, or lack thereof, making you feel more flustered than before.    


“Okay, good.” His eyes met yours again and he felt a strange flutter in his chest, but he pressed on, “I hope you know I’m not trying to control your part in this mission, I just want to make sure you don’t get yourself hurt.” 

“I know, Bucky,” you put your hand on his arm, “it’s alright.”

He nodded in response before getting back on the ladder. Grabbing the hatch, he pushed it open, revealing a pristine, empty room. It wasn’t like the ominous room that he and Sam had seen, as there was no equipment, no cabinetry, and, most notably, no human remains littering the space. He climbed the rest of the ladder and fully entered the room before waving you forward. Approaching the door, he looked out the barred window. The room let out into an equally clean hallway.    


“Something’s up. There’s no way a HYDRA facility can be this clean. Stay on high alert.” He turned the handle and silently stalked into the hall. You quickly followed behind him, making sure to close the door behind you, as to not arouse any suspicion.

Swiftly and stealthily, the two of you walked towards what looked like the main holding area. As the area drew closer, Bucky paused, looking ahead. “There’s two guards at the end of that hall. They’re not HYDRA’s typical thugs, they’re expecting us.”   


A smooth voice came from behind you, “I guess you could say that. This is a, what would you call it, setup?” 

You felt fear begin to infiltrate your senses, but you suppressed it. She had taken so much from you already, and you weren’t about to let her strip you of your dignity. Whirling around, you found yourself face to face with Alicia. Venom laced sarcasm dripped from your voice,“Why hello again Alicia. I was  _ so  _ sorry I didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye to you when you left the tower.”   


“Oh, it’s quite alright,” she shot back, “you were too preoccupied with trying to not fall to your death. Such a shame it didn’t go as planned. Although I should’ve known the serum would stop you from attaining any, uh, permanent damage. But maybe this will do the trick.” She pulled a gun from a hidden holster, and held it up to your head. 

But as soon as she did, you pulled out a little weapon of your own. Alica cried out in pain as you wrapped a flaming hand around her wrist, forcing the pistol to drop. As soon as the gun was out of her hand ten highly armed HYDRA assassins blocked the exits. 

Pulling a glistening silver knife from your holster you allowed heat to flow freely through your body. The metal turned a burning red and you threw it at one of the agents. It hit its mark, but it wasn’t enough to stop him.

Bucky was fighting off two of the assassins at once, but as soon as one was down another took his place. A glow caught his eye and he saw you rising above the others as flames carried you higher. Several agents fell, but it still wasn’t enough, the two of you were hopelessly outnumbered. 

Alicia had regained her footing and was standing in the middle of the chaos, a sadistic smile on her face, “When I heard you both survived the little fall I staged for you, I was elated. I mean, I wanted you both dead, clearly, but your survival meant the resurrection of HYDRA. You see, why have only one Soldier when you can have two. Of course it will take time to reprogram you both, and it won’t be easy, but I think I can have some fun with this.” 

A well aimed bullet pierced your side, right under your heart, breaking your concentration. You fell to the floor, blood spilling from your wound. Bucky rushed to your side, panic etching his features. Holding you close he whispered, “Doll, it’s alright, I’m here, stay with me. I’ll get you out of here, don’t worry. Do you remember what I said earlier?” You weakly nodded in response, dots beginning to cloud your vision. “Good, I need you to go now. I’ll cause a diversion so you can get out.” 

“I can’t leave,” you weakly protested, “not without you.”    


“And I can’t let you die here,” his eyes met yours, and he could tell you were running out of time. There was no way you could make it out of here alone. “Doll, I was going to tell you something earlier, and I thought I would wait until we were out of here to tell you, but I don’t think I’ll be able to. I need you to know, I’m in love with you. So please doll,” he felt a knot in his chest, and struggled to get out the rest of his sentence, “please, don’t leave me.” As hard as he fought against it, his voice still cracked.    


Hearing the sadness in his voice, your heart shattered. You took a few staggered breaths, your hand reaching up to brush a tear from the corner of his eye and you felt him lean into your touch. This wasn’t the ideal moment for a confession, you thought, but at the pace you were bleeding out you may not get another one. “I’m in love with you too, Bucky. And I won’t leave you, I promise.”   
  


A circle of HYDRA agents had formed a circle around the two of you with Alicia leading them. “Well, that was sweet. But your moment’s over, lovebirds.” The last thing you remembered before passing out was a guard grabbing you roughly by the arm followed by the sound of Bucky screaming. 

~~~

When you finally awoke you found yourself in a dark room with no visible door. You were strapped to a chair, much like the one you were in the first time you were taken. The only thing you could see was a large mirror, most likely two-way glass. You wondered who was on the other side. Your side was burning yet you couldn’t quite recall what happened. Suddenly it all came back in waves. The bullet, falling, but most of all, Bucky’s confession. 

You tried to sit up but soon realized you weren’t able to even wriggle in the chair. From the corner came a gravelly voice with a thick German accent “Oh, frauline, the boss doesn’t want another escape. Your powers have been taken from you. Don’t worry, you’ll get them back soon, just as soon as you’re back under our thumb soon. But first we must deal with the original soldier.”    


“Where is he? And why are you here, I’m clearly not going to be going anywhere.”   


“No, but the boss doesn’t want to risk it. Besides, that’s not why I’m really here. Don’t you recognize me, frauline?” From the shadows he stepped forward, wearing a long white apron, dragging a cart behind him. It took you but a moment to recognize the man in front of you. 

“Professor. What a surprise seeing you here.”

“I’m sure it is. Now, for the soldat to become ours once again his subconscious needs to be shaped. The best minds to shape are the weakest ones, the most vulnerable. After your little display, it’s safe to say his weak point is you. But don’t worry, this will hurt you much more than it will hurt him.”    


Suddenly the two way glass made sense. You tried to look through it to him, to communicate that it would be alright. But deep down, you weren’t sure. There didn’t seem to be a way out of this. Grabbing your head, the professor snapped at you “No looking at the glass.” He then pulled a small, rusted knife from the cart. “Where to start? So many ways to cause pain.” He pressed the knife against your neck and you closed your eyes, trying not to move. “No, too soon. Ah, I know.”

He pulled the bandage off to reveal a tear in your uniform where a deep, bloodied wound festered. After placing the knife on the wound, he began to apply pressure. You winced, but didn’t scream, not wanting Bucky to know how much pain you were in. Soon, several small incisions were cut into the wound, causing blood to begin flowing again. Replacing the bandage, he put the knife back on the cart. Selecting a longer, thinner blade he smiled. “The boss has big, big plans for you, frauline. But she doesn’t mind a little damage.” 

He placed the new knife against your neck, not quite at your windpipe, but close enough for any cut to do substantial damage. “I won’t be doing any cutting myself, you see. You’ll do it all for me.” Flipping a switch on the chair, an electric current flowed through you. Soon enough, the currents, small but powerful, caused you to shift in pain, making your skin move against the knife, creating deep gashes along your neck. 

Bucky watched from behind the glass, strapped to his own chair feeling his heart break with every incision that the professor made, every time you cried out. When the blood started to appear on your neck he screamed “Don’t you dare touch her!” He wanted to stop them, to do something, anything. He tried to break out from the chairs but two agents were stationed in the room to stop him. They informed him that if he tried to escape, you would be killed, because although you were a valuable asset, you were still expendable. So instead he cried out, until his voice was practically gone, trying to let you know he was there. Finally he was heard and you looked over at the mirror, right as you passed out from the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently finished writing the rest of this ahead of schedule, so y’all can expect more updates coming soon! Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	18. Chapter 18

Alica entered the room where Bucky was being held, a smirk on her face. “I cannot begin to describe how wonderful it was to see how much pain that put you both through.” Bucky stared at her but said nothing, not wanting to anger her and cause you more pain. “I must say though, the best is yet to come.” 

She seemed almost giddy and Bucky felt a knot form in his stomach. He had to do something. An idea came to mind. “Why don’t you let her go? Your thugs said it themselves, she’s expendable to you. If you let her out, you’ll have my full cooperation.” Of course he wasn’t being completely honest, but Alicia didn’t need to know that.    


“Oh, I don’t think you understand. Keeping her here has its benefits, it keeps you in line, and it gives us some more, uh, shall we say, fire power? So consider your request denied.”    


His heart sank, but he had a plan. “Where is she, can I at least see her?” 

“She’s in the infirmary in critical condition, that damn professor and his knife tricks.” Bucky felt like his chest was about to explode, he had to get to you before they harmed you again. “So again, consider the request officially denied. Don’t worry, she’ll be able to see you soon, though. When it’s your turn.” Alicia turned and walked out, leaving Bucky alone in the darkly lit room.

Suddenly, he realized how much time had passed since they first entered the facility. It was well past the check-in time, which meant Sam and Natasha would have been alerted to the mission going sideways. Hopefully they would be on their way with reinforcements soon. If not, things could go very badly, very quickly. 

While this interaction happened you were in the infirmary, starting to regain consciousness. A nurse was at your side, roughly bandaging your wounds. When she noticed you beginning to awaken she slowed her actions. 

She picked up the next bandage and as she set it on your neck she whispered to you, “My name is Maria Hill, I’m a S.H.I.E.L.D agent that Fury sent in case things went sour. Needless to say, they did. Natasha and Sam are on their way to provide backup but it may take a while. Can you move?”   


You nodded your head, which took a great deal of work, but Maria took it as a good sign. “I infused these bandages with a cleanser, it will remove the limitations that they put on your powers, but it’s crucial that you don’t use them until I give you the go ahead. Otherwise we could risk going right back to where we are now.” She handed you a miniscule listening device, “This will allow you to hear me when the time is ready. But it is one way, so you won’t be able to contact me. Understood?” You nodded again. “Good. I should warn you, what they did to you, they’re about to do to Sergeant Barnes. You will be forced to watch, I cannot do anything to stop it. But you can’t let on that you know backup is coming, or they’ll be prepared. Do you think you can handle that?”   


“I can’t just watch him be tortured, what if they reactivate the mind control?”    


“That’s why you have your powers back. But only use them if it comes down to it. When you were in the chair they threatened to kill you if Bucky tried to intervene. I doubt they would do the same to him, since he’s more valuable to them, no offense, but you can’t be too certain of anything.”    


A guard walked past, and called over to her. “Hurry up, they need that one in the viewing room.”    


Maria helped you up before the guard came over and hauled you out of the room. He led you down a series of winding halls, leading you to an empty room, the only things it contained were a chair, much like the one you had been in earlier, and a window giving a view of the torture room. 

You had to hold back a cry when you saw Bucky strapped to the chair. Running to the window, you felt something dark grab ahold of you. It would be so easy to melt the glass, to kill the two HYDRA agents that were holding you back. You tried to stop yourself, and eventually the threat of flames was gone from your mind. If you played your cards wrong, Bucky could die. A sharp pain filled your chest, although you weren’t sure what caused it, the bullet wound or the threat of a life without Bucky in it. 

The agents strapped you to the chair, a shock of pain going through your neck as they did. The professor wheeled the cart into the torture room. He looked directly at the glass, and although you knew he couldn’t see you, a chill still went down your spine. “Good evening, frauline. I hope you enjoy tonight’s entertainment. However, there will be a twist.” A patch with wires connected to it was placed onto your neck. “We believe you are ready for initiation into our ranks. This is the perfect experience to muddle your brain just enough to have you back under our control.” 

Bucky jerked forward in his chair, “Don’t you dare touch her.” He looked at the glass, and you felt an ache in your chest knowing he couldn’t really see you. “Doll, I promise I’ll get you out of here. Just stay with me. You promised you’d stay with me.” An electric pulse went through the chair and Bucky fell back into the seat, but he remained the “eye contact” he had made with you. A whispered “You promised,” left his lips before another shock went through the chair. 

You tried to stay calm but you could feel the heat rising. The agent turned the device on, and you felt a current go through you. The professor selected a knife from his arsenal and held it up so it glinted in the light. He approached Bucky, but instead of showing fear for himself, he looked directly into the professor’s eyes. “I swear to God, if you hurt her again, I will hunt you down and make every last second of your life a living hell.”    


Looking directly through the glass he smirked, “Turn up the current.” An electric wave travelled through your body and for a moment you forgot where you were. You closed your eyes. You had to make it out of here, you had made a promise that you intended on keeping.    


Maria Hill’s voice came through the mic in your ear. “Backup should be here soon, find a way to keep him talking but don’t use the fire until the last possible second.”   


Looking towards one of your guards, you asked, “Is there a way I can speak with him?” The two agents shared a look, but eventually shrugged and pressed a button, turning on an intercom.    


“You know, professor, I always had a feeling you didn’t like me. Such a shame too, I always did so well in your class. But who knew favoritism could extend this far?”    


His face contorted in rage, “Do you really think you’re in a position to be talking back to me, frauline?” 

“Apparently, I do.” Bucky looked towards the glass again, silently asking what you were doing. “To be quite honest, I don’t think you know who you’re talking to.”    


“That’s it,” he snarled, “I will not tolerate such disrespect in my own laboratory. Tell the boss there was a code orange, the kill order has been given.” 

Bucky’s face went pale, “If you lay a hand on her-”   


“I will regret it. Yes, you’ve made that quite clear, Sergeant Barnes. However you haven’t done anything yet, and I believe we’re at a point where you won’t be able to do anything to me in the future.”    


Maria’s voice rang through your ear, “Reinforcements aren’t close enough, but code orange is serious. Initiate your powers now.” All the rage and sadness and pent up emotions came spilling to the surface. Flames burst through your skin, searing the agents next to you and burning through your restraints. You ran to the glass, and pressed a hand to it. The window started to bend, but not enough to melt the glass. Allowing the anger to be replaced by memories, you thought back to the night your parents died. The night you blamed yourself for. The heat rose and the glass turned into a smoking molten mixture.    


You stepped into the torture room, slowly allowing your flames to go out. You stepped towards Bucky’s chair and pulled his restraints off. Your eyes met his, and you knew that whatever was about to happen, he would be there for you.

The professor turned towards you, a prideful tone in his voice, “This isn’t the end, you know. One way or another you will fall back into our clutches. Cut off one head, two more shall take its place. Hail HYDRA.” With that, he attempted to swallow a cyanide pill. Bucky stepped in, stopping him.

“It won’t be that easy,” he said, shoving him into the chair. “We aren’t done with you yet. SHIELD has some questions for you,” he secured the restraints around his arms, “and I have to make good on my promise.” Bucky turned to you, his eyes full of emotion, “I thought I might never see you again, when he ordered code orange, doll I-”

You interrupted him with your lips crashing into his. He was stunned for a moment but soon returned the kiss. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer, scared if he let you go he would risk losing you again. Your hands tangled themselves in his hair, needing to be as close to him as possible, needing to know this was real. As you melted into the kiss, your heart pounded in your chest. When you were finally forced to break away for air, you rested your head on his shoulder, feeling safe for the first time in what felt like eons. “I promised you I wouldn’t leave you,” you whispered. 

A familiar voice came from the doorway, “Well, now we know what we almost interrupted the other day.” Sam and Natasha entered the room, followed by a few SHIELD agents. 

“You owe me five bucks,” Natasha said to Sam, “I told you, life threatening experiences bring people together.” 

“Sure, whatever, but how about I pay up once we’re safe outside.” Sam replied sulkily.

The agents circled around the professor, blocking his escape. Reluctantly, Bucky stepped back from you, allowing you to reignite the flames in your hands. “Alicia should be in the main holding area,” you said.

“Well, it seems like you don’t know as much about me as you thought you did.” Alicia stood in the alone in the hall.

“Where’s your backup Alicia?” you asked, venom dripping from your voice.

“My backup? Oh, he’s already here.” Confused, you looked at the professor, but he was still surrounded by guards. It was then you noticed the red book in her hands. She began to read from it in Russian, “ _ Longing _ ,  _ rusted _ ,  _ furnace _ ,  _ daybreak _ .”

  
“Stop!” Bucky cried out, his face contorted in pain. It was like a switch had been flipped in your mind as you made the connection. His trigger words. She was trying to bring out the Winter Soldier. 

You raced towards her, your heart racing. You tried to wrestle the book from her grasp, but despite the flames licking at her hands, she kept a tight grip on the book. It wasn’t long before she had hideous welts showing up on her skin. Your mind flashed back to the video of you killing Elaine Berlioz. The same welts appeared on her skin before her death. You stumbled backwards, letting go of Alicia. 

She continued reading, “ _ Seventeen, benign _ .” Bucky’s eyes met yours, and you could see the pain he was in, trying to keep the Winter Soldier at bay. With renewed conviction, you grabbed the book directly from Alicia’s hands, one flaming hand on the book, the other setting her hair alight. She screamed and dropped it, and you grabbed it before it even hit the floor. It was incinerated almost instantaneously.   


After the fire on her head was out, Alicia screamed, her voice filled with anger, “You treacherous little bitch. Don’t you know it’s rude to take things from others?” 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to kill someone’s parents?” 

  
“HYDRA made you into what you are today. Where would you be without us?”   


“I’d probably be a normal college student,” you laughed, “But I wouldn’t give up what I found for the world. HYDRA didn’t ‘make’ me, from now on who I am, what I do, those are my decisions.” Your body became covered in flames and you smiled. “You branded me a phoenix, Alicia. Don’t be surprised when I rise from the ashes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, just a heads up that there’s only two chapters left after this one! Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	19. Chapter 19

As it turns out, burning down a building was a lot more work than it seemed. Natasha collected all their data before you would set blaze to a room. When the smoke alarms went off most of the remaining HYDRA agents fled outside where SHIELD operatives were waiting for them. Bucky was still weak from his close call with the Winter Soldier, so Sam escorted both him and Alicia to the Quinjet. As much as you hated to leave Bucky’s side, you didn’t have much of a choice. The facility had to be destroyed.

When you entered the main holding room, Nat began downloading the data from the computer. Picturing a raging fire in your mind, you allowed flames to begin licking at the corners of the room. Smoke began to accumulate but it wasn’t anything out of your control. Suddenly, a loud bang came from the other side of the room, causing your heart rate to rise. You assumed all the HYDRA thugs had retreated. As you rushed over to investigate, weaving your way through the abandoned cell block, the flames began to grow against your will. They rose, creating a towering inferno of heat and smoke. It became so thick that you lost all sight of your surroundings. It was in that moment when you felt the cold barrel of a gun pressed against your back.

Risking a glance behind you, you saw a tall, lanky man holding a revolver to the small of your back. “You know,” he whispered, his voice deep and gravelly, “in all my time here, the Winter Soldier only ever brought HYDRA down. However it seemed I was the only one to be to see that. When I learned he was recaptured I decided to use this opportunity to dispose of him, once and for all. However, I think I’ve found something better to take from him, something so much more precious than his life. Yours.” 

You reached back, latching onto his arm and twisting it, sending a shock of pain through his body. But you weren’t fast enough and he was able to pull the trigger before the searing heat from your hand forced him to drop the gun. A sharp pain went through your ribcage, causing you to stumble back in pain. As you tried to make your escape, an idea came to mind. Cautiously, you pressed down on the wound, hoping the heat from your hand would effectively cauterize it. It seemed to work, although the pain was still there. Taking a deep breath, you sent a blast of fire towards the area where the man fell. Immediately after you tried to turn and run, clutching your side as you tried to find your way out. You instantly became turned around, however, because the smoke was too thick to see through, and the maze of cells seemed to go on forever.   


From the smoke in front of you, a hand snaked out and grabbed you by the ankle, pulling you down onto the dirt floor. You landed directly on the bullet wound, reopening it and causing a pool of blood to turn the floor to a red mud beneath you. A vein was definitely punctured, and you knew you would be running out of time if you didn’t move quickly. Reaching over, you placed a searing hand on his face “You just don’t know when to give up, do you?” 

“I didn’t come so far to fail. If I go down, so do you,” he chuckled darkly, “Barnes deserves the hand Fate has dealt him.” 

“You never considered the hand Fate dealt you,” a voice came from somewhere to your left. From the smoke, Natasha emerged, gun pointed at the man. 

“I’ve accepted mine,” he replied, dark eyes meeting yours, “but have you accepted yours? You and I both know that bullet hit a vein, so you’ll be dead soon enough. But I do have a message for you to deliver. When you get out of here and return to your Bucky, having almost completely bleed out, I want you to tell him who killed you. The true fist of HYDRA.” A bang echoed against the metallic walls of the room. The man lay in a pool of blood, Natasha standing over him with a smoking gun. 

She walked over to you. “Can you stand,” she asked, the smallest hint of panic seeping through her calm exterior.    


“I think so,” you nodded, “but we have to hurry. I already tried to cauterize the wound but it didn’t take. He was right, it’s serious.”   


Nat helped you up, “Bruce is on the ship, he might be able to sew it shut until we get back to the tower. But you need to quell the flames enough so we can get out of here safely.” Reaching out to the flames drained you of a lot of energy, making you feel even weaker than before, but you managed to subdue them enough for the smoke to partially clear. 

You weakly stood, legs threatening to give out beneath you. In your condition, the building seemed even bigger than it had originally. To keep you awake Nat was talking to you, explaining how Alicia and the professor were both sent ahead in a separate jet, so you luckily wouldn’t have to deal with either of them on your way back to the tower. After what felt like ages, but was most likely only a few minutes, you made it out to the Quinjet. For the second time that day, dots clouded your vision as blood seeped from a bullet wound. As soon as you made it to the jet you collapsed onto the deck, Bucky rushing to your side. 

Seeing how deep the wound was caused his heart to sink. Worry laced through his voice as he picked you up and gently placed you on a gurney, “Doll, what happened, who did this to you?” When you didn’t respond he glanced at Natasha who just shook her head sadly.

“He said he was the ‘real fist of HYDRA’,” you replied, your voice only a whisper. “Do you know who that is?”

Bucky felt his heart stop, a memory from his days as the Winter Soldier resurfacing. “HYDRA had plans for a whole army of supersoldiers. He was one of the agents who volunteered to take the serum, but when he went out on a mission he disobeyed direct commands, decimated an entire city block. I was sent to stop him. Instead of allowing him to take his place as a soldier, he was forced to stay at the facility, only going out when critical.” You barely registered the words, falling into a coughing fit. When you took your hand away it was slick with blood. Bucky stayed by your side, holding your hand, trying to mask his fear. Soon after the jet took off, you drifted into an uneasy unconsciousness. 

Bruce pulled Nat aside, speaking in a hushed tone, “The bullet didn’t hit a vein, but it was very close. If she loses more blood, she might not survive. She’ll need an emergency blood transfusion as soon as we touch down, and even then the situation will be critical. I would inform Bucky, but after what Sam told me about the Winter Soldier incident,” he shook his head, “I don’t think he’s in the right headspace to receive that type of news right now.”

Natasha nodded in agreement, “The best thing to do, I think, is wait until the transfusion is complete and they’re both a bit more stable. I’ll phone ahead to Steve, let him know the situation.” 

After what felt like ages, the Quinjet finally landed, medics ready at the sight to take you to the infirmary. Bucky tried to stay as close as possible without getting in their way. 

“We don’t know if it will work,” he overheard one of the medics say, “her condition is critical. The only thing we can do once it’s done is hope.” Bucky felt his heart twist at the words. Sensing someone walk up to him he glanced over. 

“She’ll survive this,” Sam said, “she’s a fighter.”

Bucky glanced down, unsure of whether he should confide in Sam. “If she survives this it’ll be a miracle. The doctors said she’s in critical condition. See, this is why I told you I don’t do relationships. The man who shot her knew she was important to me, knew he could use her death to cause me grief, and it’s working. It’s my fault she’s on death’s door, Sam. I can’t let her get hurt because of me again. And I almost became _him_ again, I could have-” 

Sam interrupted him,“Hey man, look at me. You did everything you could to protect her in there. Maria told me you tried to bargain for her freedom, using your own life as leverage. But she wasn’t in harm’s way because of you.” Bucky shot him a look and he continued, “Alright, let me rephrase that. Yes, in this instance she was put in danger because of her connection with you, but she knew what she was signing up for when she decided to be an Avenger. No matter what, with the ability she has, she’s going to be in harm’s way. So even if you try to push her away for her ‘protection’, it won’t change anything. The only thing it will do is hurt you both.”   
  


Bucky looked over at the operating room where they were wrapping up the blood transfusion. “Thank you, Sam. I hate to say it, but I think you’re right.”   


“Of course I am,” he smiled. “I think they’ll let you in the room now that they finished the procedure.” 

As Bucky approached the room, a doctor pulled him aside. “She’s recovering slowly, but she still hasn’t woken up. The trauma wasn’t just from the one bullet wound, but two, along with the cuts she received. If she starts coughing again let us know.” Bucky nodded before rushing into your room. He grabbed a chair and pulled it next to your bed. 

“Hey doll,” he paused, remembering all the pain you’ve been through the past few days, “I know you probably can’t hear me right now, but I know you’ll get through this. You’ve endured so much already. I know it might be hard, but I need you to stay with me. I’m not letting you out of your promise that easy,” he chuckled, but his voice was thick with unshed tears. 

For the next two days he stayed by your bedside, only leaving the few times the attending nurses forced him out. On the third day, he was talking on the phone with Steve when your eyelids finally fluttered open. 

“No, Steve, I’m staying with her,” he argued, “I don’t need-”   


“Bucky?” you whispered, your voice sore from not being used. 

His head shot up, and the phone clattered to the floor. “Doll, you’re awake, oh thank God. You’ve had us all worried, you know.”

“How long was I out?” Taking in your surroundings, you could tell you were in the tower, safe from HYDRA. 

“Three days,” Bucky whispered, holding your hand. Your mind almost completely short-circuited when you heard that, but you wanted to stay strong for Bucky. You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping and looked over at him questioningly.

“What happened to Alicia and the professor? Are they interrogating the other HYDRA agents?”    


“They were taken to a maximum security prison, don’t worry. You’re safe here. As for the interrogations, I don’t know. I’ve been here the whole time. I couldn’t leave you, not when,” he couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence.

“When what,” you asked gently. 

“The doctors were worried you wouldn’t make it,” he whispered. “God, doll, I was worried too. After all that happened, all we made it through, I couldn’t lose you.”

You reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. “Well, I did promise you I wouldn’t leave you, didn’t I?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually can’t believe that the next chapter is the last, like how? Like always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Love you all <3


	20. Chapter 20

It took a few months for you to fully recover from your wounds. Throughout the entire process, Bucky was by your side. And now, even two years later, whenever you would wake up screaming from a nightmare, or have a flashback in the middle of a mission, he would be there, 

For the most part, the past years had been mostly uneventful, or as uneventful as the life of an Avenger could be. Yes, there were the occasional battles. At one point an intergalactic madman tried to gather some fancy stones and destroy the universe. Luckily the team was able to step up and take him down, and even Thor’s supposedly “evil” brother Loki helped. 

You never did move into your own floors, instead electing to stay with Bucky, and neither of you seemed to have any problems with those living arrangements. As soon as you were out of the hospital and able to live your life again, Bucky insisted on taking you on a “proper date”. You went out to a beautiful, classy restaurant and had an incredible time. Of course the tabloids had a field day talking about the two of you, but it didn’t bother Bucky, so it didn’t bother you. 

It was in that very same restaurant you had your two year anniversary date. The lighting was low, and a live band played some lively music from the ‘40s. As the dinner drew to a close, Bucky began to feel nervous, toying with something in the pocket of his suit jacket.    


Before he could lose his confidence, he spoke, “Doll, there’s a reason I wanted to bring you here tonight. It was exactly two years ago when I first told you I loved you. The circumstances weren’t the most romantic, but I knew I needed to tell you, because I couldn’t picture a life without you in it,” he got out of his chair, pulled a small box from his pocket, and got down on one knee. “I have been head over heels in love with you for the past two years, and I still can’t picture a life without you. You’re the strongest,” he smiled, “most fiery girl I know. My phoenix. Will you marry me?”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you nodded. “Yes, Bucky, a thousand times yes!” The entire restaurant broke into applause as Bucky helped you up from your seat and pulled into a kiss.    


A few tables over, Sam handed Natasha a five dollar bill. “I really thought he would propose at the tower,” he grumbled. 

As the day of the wedding neared, both the tower and the media were a buzz of excitement. You wanted to wait until summer to have the ceremony, allowing plenty of time to prepare. However, in your true procrastinator fashion, you were still wrapping up details a week before the day.

Wanda attended your final dress fitting with you, As you stepped out from behind the curtain she gasped. Beautifully designed, it had a detailed red lace bodice, the color of fire, with a flame like lace pattern going down the front of the dress. The rest of it was a pure white silk, which pooled at your feet, a long red and white train trailing behind you.

“It’s gorgeous,” she said, taking in all the details. “You know, I can remember a time not too long ago when you said you would never be able to get married. You’ve come a long way.”   


“Well, to be fair, my entire life had just been changed, so if we could cut me a little slack, that would be great,” you laughed, reminiscing on the moment you felt everything change. Now, you realized, it had changed for the better. 

The wedding was set to be on the main floor of Avengers tower, with a very large public reception afterwards. The day before, you all spent the day decorating for the event, with everyone pitching in to help. That night, you had a Bachelorette party with Nat, Wanda and Pepper, while Bucky held a Bachelor’s party which all the guys attended. 

“So,” Natasha asked, “how does it feel knowing you’re getting married tomorrow?” 

“Well, it still doesn’t feel completely real. Never did I imagine I’d get to spend the rest of my life with someone as perfect as Bucky. I’m so excited, but to be honest, I’m a bit nervous too.”    


“It’s perfectly alright to be nervous the day before your wedding,” Pepper assured you, “when I was getting married to Tony I was practically terrified. With all his antics,” she trailed off, chuckling a little at the memory.    


You smiled, “I can see why. But, I’m more nervous about something going wrong rather than the marriage itself. I mean, I know Alicia and the professor are locked away and HYDRA is gone for good, but what if they’re not? What if they show up and try to-”   


Wanda interrupted you, “They won’t. I know they hurt you in the past, but they won’t ruin your perfect day. And if somehow they do, we’ll all be there to stop it. Alright?” 

You nodded, feeling reassured about the next day. Everything would be fine. 

Everything was not fine. The cake still wasn’t there, neither was the minister, and you somehow didn’t realize that having a public reception meant some of that public would try to sneak up to watch the wedding. 

Thirty minutes before the wedding you slipped on your dress, trying your best not to ruin your hair or makeup. A knock resounded at the door to your makeshift dressing room, which Natasha, your maid of honor, answered. It was Bucky, there to announce that the cake had finally arrived. He tried to come in, but Wanda, who was helping you with the finishing touches to your look, insisted it was bad luck for him to see you in your dress before the ceremony and he would just have to wait. 

The time was drawing closer, and the minister still wasn’t there. Another knock came at the door. Wanda answered this time, letting Tony step in the room. “I was officiated a few years ago,” he said, “so I could perform the ceremony if he doesn’t arrive in time.” 

You thanked him, a huge weight lifting off your chest. Finally, it was time to begin. 

Bucky stood at the end of the aisle, with Steve as his best man standing next to him. Apparently the minister hadn’t made it in time, so Tony stood at the altar, ready to officiate the ceremony. Then entered your bridesmaids, Pepper and Wanda, escorted by the groomsmen, Sam and Bruce. 

Peter Parker acted as ring bearer. Scott Lang’s daughter Cassie was the flower girl, and she skipped down the aisle tossing petals along the way, earning smiles from all the guests. Following after her was Nat, in a deep red dress that matched the other two bridesmaids’.    


Finally, it was your turn. In your father’s place, Thor escorted you down the aisle. Fresh roses and orchids made up your bouquet, which you held gently in your hand. Standing at the end of the aisle, the wedding march began to play, and all the guests turned to face you. Slowly but confidently, you walked towards Bucky, your heart soaring. He looked incredibly handsome in his tuxedo, his hair pushed back, drawing attention to his gorgeous icy blue eyes. 

His heart nearly stopped when he saw you, your dress fitting you perfectly. When you reached the altar, he took your hands in his, “You look gorgeous,” he whispered. 

Tony began the ceremony, starting with the traditional marriage vows, but both you and Bucky had prepared special vows for each other. 

“Y/N, I have been in love with you for two years, and every moment of it, I knew a life without you in it wouldn’t be one I could bear. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives together, doll, and I want you to know that I love you with my whole heart. I love you, my precious phoenix.”

“Bucky, when I first ran into a handsome stranger on campus, literally,” you chuckled, “I never thought it would lead me to where I am today, but I’m so glad it did. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes,” Bucky smiled at your use of his full name, “and today I promise to stay with you, just like I did when we first confessed our love.”

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Tony said, turning to Bucky. “You may now kiss the bride.” Bucky’s arms wrapped around your waist, sweeping you off your feet as he kissed you. 

The audience began clapping, and when you finally broke the kiss, you turned and threw it into the crowd. Nat caught it with a smile, and the rest of the team began cheering louder.    


“The after party’s downstairs!” Tony called into the crowd. You heard Pepper scold him, saying it’s a reception, not an after party.

“So, Mrs. Barnes,” Bucky said, smiling, “may I escort you to our reception?”   


You smiled, “You may. Well, in a second,” you smirked, before pulling him in for another kiss. 

When you arrived, the reporters were all scrambling to take pictures, and everyone rushed to congratulate you. When you finally pressed through the mob of fans, you made it to the floor for your first dance as a couple.    


Holding you close for the waltz, Bucky couldn’t believe how lucky he was. As the music began to fade, he dipped you back and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. He was yours and you were his, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve reached the end of our journey together and what wild ride it was. I’d like to thank those of you who have been here since day one and those who’ve just recently joined us. Thank you for all the support you’ve given me from kudos and comments. I’d also like to thank my best friend Anastasia for beta-reading this for me. Thanks to her insistence, I may be writing a sequel fic to this :) I also have some one shots and other story ideas I’ll be working on, so make sure to subscribe to my profile for updates! Love you all <3


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